• Dae@pawb.social
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    1 day ago

    I am autistic. Talking to total strangers anywhere but online is really fucking hard. I find the words catching in my throat every time I go to speak. And even then, sometimes it’s barely above a whisper.

    To a normal person, this is petty. To me and mine, this is cruel. And you have no way to tell which it will be. Maybe you shouldn’t support this.

    • sneaky@r.nf
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      22 hours ago

      I was over here thinking what if somebody didn’t even know that was what she was doing or that they were supposed to say thank you. Now that poor person will be left wondering what even happened because her resolution (picking it up and putting it back) provides no opportunity to learn.

      • SoleInvictus@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        23 hours ago

        I can’t fault you. At least we should organize into groups of 150 or less, the theorized maximum number of people that your average hairless ape can comprehend compassionately.

        I propose a cell-based or council-network system that uses directly overlapping membership via 25 member subgroups, with each person a member of two groups. It maximizes empathic reach as members would better empathize with members of their two groups while increasing the likelihood members would empathize with members of a different group through the connection of another group member.

    • deHaga@feddit.uk
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      1 day ago

      I’m autistic, rules are rules. The divider provider must be acknowledged.

      Voice is improved with practice. Join a toastmasters,or learn to sing?

      • Dae@pawb.social
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        1 day ago

        Putting the divider down is also polite. Why are we expected to always be the most polite or suffer cruelty if we don’t comply? It’s a two-way street.

        And my voice is fine. It’s the presssure and anxiety of the situation. The nervousness makes it harder to speak loudly.

        The point here is that removing the divider after having placed it simply for the person not thanking them is petty at best and cruel at worst, and it simply shouldn’t happen.

        People should be better, and should have some fucking grace and consider that maybe said person has a hard time speaking, or yet again worse, is mute.

        • rautapekoni@sopuli.xyz
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          1 day ago

          Putting the divider down is also polite. Why are we expected to always be the most polite or suffer cruelty if we don’t comply?

          I always put the divider down behind my stuff, line behind me or no, and expect nothing in return from the people behind me. If the person in front of me can’t be arsed to put the divider down after their stuff, it’s fun to see how many of my items get scanned before they get to have an awkward conversation with the cashier. Yes I’m normal and well adjusted, why do you ask?

        • deHaga@feddit.uk
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          1 day ago

          And my voice is fine. It’s the presssure and anxiety of the situation. The nervousness makes it harder to speak loudly.

          Yes, that’s why you have to practice. I got over mine by working in a hifi shop when I was 16. You have to speak to people, practice makes you better

          • stray@pawb.social
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            11 hours ago

            I agree that we should all work on ourselves to the best of our ability, but I think the point I’m sticking on is the idea that this person deserves to be punished with revenge rudeness if they fail to perform politeness a specific way.

          • arnitbier@sh.itjust.works
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            22 hours ago

            “I did something great, you must now do it or you are less than me 👋”

            Now let me condescend to you with advice that you don’t want from a pretty obviously petty person that overcame one small flaw

            Sounds great! Where do I sign up!

            Yeeeeeah fuck off with that

            And I’d tell you that, in person, both assertively and clearly

              • arnitbier@sh.itjust.works
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                21 hours ago

                Yeah you clearly don’t have offline friends

                New flaw found! Gotta practice not being an asshole

                I overcame it when I was just a boy, you should practice more!

                Edit: I just couldn’t resist

                • deHaga@feddit.uk
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                  11 hours ago

                  I think you might be taking this personally and not really understanding what it’s like.

                  It’s you that is lacking compassion.

                  Couldn’t resist what? Being a massive bell end? Are you autistic? No? stfu then

      • webghost0101@sopuli.xyz
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        22 hours ago

        Also autistic : Rules are a construct we ourself shape and create in order to archive the illusion of control over the raw anarchy that is the reality of free will and sovereign thought.

      • WraithGear@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        literally, the divider is to protect the person in front from having to pay for a accidental scan of the items the person behind them may place. it’s literally is everyone’s interest that the divider is there. don’t go expecting thanks yous in general but especially when the action was in self interest

    • Nomorereddit@lemmy.today
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      1 day ago

      You can be a victim or a victor, you made your choice…needlessly.

      You can Literally order groceries to be picked up w no human interaction or go to self check out.

        • Nomorereddit@lemmy.today
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          4 hours ago

          We live in a society in which that’s the preference of most people shopping today. Thus I dont think your advice is the best advice.

          Also, If you’re gonna (needlessly) waste everyones time gonna with a meltdown by causeing a scene, then you are being as selfish as someone driving slow in the fast lane.

          This is grocery shopping, get your celery and get out. Im not saying lock him in a padded room.

          • stray@pawb.social
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            4 hours ago

            Not saying thank you isn’t having a meltdown or making a scene, nor is it analogous to unsafe driving practices. Are you thinking this up just because they said they’re autistic?

            My advice is only to not be passive-aggressive when people don’t behave the way you think they should, which is pretty low-effort.