Selfishness is by definition about having little regard for others. I don’t really see the connection; how is refraining from procreation a disregard for others? If anything, choosing not to have kids is selfless, as it is being unconcerned with propagating my genetic lineage. The nice thing about sentience is that we’re not beholden to our biology. In most cases, we consider it a good thing to rise above being driven by instinct.
Selfishness is by definition about having little regard for others.
Correct. Generally, simply saying “I don’t do this because I don’t want to” does fit that criterion, as it justifies an action by your own desires only, without offering any consideration for the effect on others.
However, in this specific case:
how is refraining from procreation a disregard for others?
This example is a difficult, messy one. Generally, a species requires offspring to survive, and particularly our modern society depends on having young people work to sustain the retired ones. It’s a generational contract, sorta paying forward the support we’d like to receive when we’re old, in the expectation that each subsequent generation will help carry their predecessors and “repay” us for it. By not having kids, you’re depriving the future retirees of people to support them.
However, you obviously also have to consider the best for the children you’d set into this world. To have children just because your parents expect it, without regard for the kids’ wellbeing, would be irresponsible and inconsiderate. And particularly in our world today, I can’t say that inflicting it upon any children is fair to them.
Either way, your personal freedom entitles you to make that choice and it is not my place (or anyone else’s) to gainsay your decision.
I just wanted to point out that selfish doesn’t always equate to evil: There are cases where selfishness is absolutely valid.
I do get what you’re saying. And I should say I have enormous respect for people who choose to have children and follow through with raising them. But it’s a type of selfishness to want to extend one’s particular family line rather than choosing to adopt one of the many children who currently need a parental figure in their lives. If there were few of us and this was a matter of actual continuation of the species, the common societal framing would make more sense. But as it is, the choice carries no real ethical/moral imperative other than the responsibility to potential offspring.
Doing something or not doing it because it’s the right thing for you is not inherently selfish. It’s exactly the freedom we all cherish. And I think the typical framing of selfish/selfless does more harm than good in this case. We may just disagree over semantics. But at least here, “selfish” carries negative connotations, as the disregard described in the definition must assume some entitlement that the group has over an individual’s decision. I’m mostly pushing back against the foundations of that entitlement. Thanks for engaging with this thoughtfully. I appreciate the discussion!
Selfishness is by definition about having little regard for others. I don’t really see the connection; how is refraining from procreation a disregard for others? If anything, choosing not to have kids is selfless, as it is being unconcerned with propagating my genetic lineage. The nice thing about sentience is that we’re not beholden to our biology. In most cases, we consider it a good thing to rise above being driven by instinct.
Correct. Generally, simply saying “I don’t do this because I don’t want to” does fit that criterion, as it justifies an action by your own desires only, without offering any consideration for the effect on others.
However, in this specific case:
This example is a difficult, messy one. Generally, a species requires offspring to survive, and particularly our modern society depends on having young people work to sustain the retired ones. It’s a generational contract, sorta paying forward the support we’d like to receive when we’re old, in the expectation that each subsequent generation will help carry their predecessors and “repay” us for it. By not having kids, you’re depriving the future retirees of people to support them.
However, you obviously also have to consider the best for the children you’d set into this world. To have children just because your parents expect it, without regard for the kids’ wellbeing, would be irresponsible and inconsiderate. And particularly in our world today, I can’t say that inflicting it upon any children is fair to them.
Either way, your personal freedom entitles you to make that choice and it is not my place (or anyone else’s) to gainsay your decision.
I just wanted to point out that selfish doesn’t always equate to evil: There are cases where selfishness is absolutely valid.
I do get what you’re saying. And I should say I have enormous respect for people who choose to have children and follow through with raising them. But it’s a type of selfishness to want to extend one’s particular family line rather than choosing to adopt one of the many children who currently need a parental figure in their lives. If there were few of us and this was a matter of actual continuation of the species, the common societal framing would make more sense. But as it is, the choice carries no real ethical/moral imperative other than the responsibility to potential offspring.
Doing something or not doing it because it’s the right thing for you is not inherently selfish. It’s exactly the freedom we all cherish. And I think the typical framing of selfish/selfless does more harm than good in this case. We may just disagree over semantics. But at least here, “selfish” carries negative connotations, as the disregard described in the definition must assume some entitlement that the group has over an individual’s decision. I’m mostly pushing back against the foundations of that entitlement. Thanks for engaging with this thoughtfully. I appreciate the discussion!
I’m trying to push back against the connotation, so I think we’re fighting the same fight on different fronts here :D
I’m also not going to have kids, for what it’s worth.