Even if you believe that, the idea that losing you would be such torture as to outweigh any good of being with you is utter bullshit. And even if you think it would, you don’t get to make that choice for someone else!
My wife recently got diagnosed with a small tumor on her pituitary gland. Her health already wasn’t the best, and she’s a week shy of exactly 5 years older than me. So I already knew I was most likely going to outlive her. But even if you told me I was going to outlive her by literally hundreds of years you would never catch me choosing not to be with her for however long I get. I’d choose to be with this woman every single time.
If she died tomorrow it would destroy me. But it’s precisely because it will hurt me so much that I’m going to cherish every single moment I have with her for as long as I have her. And when the time does come to say goodbye I’m going to live on carrying those memories with me for however much longer I have before I join her wherever it is we go when this is all over. Because I know that she would want me to be happy in the time I have without her.
Sorry to hear this and I empathise with your situation. ‘Loss’ is a difficult emotion
I completely agree with “we don’t get to make that choice for someone else”. This shall always be true.
But if someone implies : that loving someone is just a one-time thing in life, like in a one-time use then… this is their choice …
But i’m not bound to this… and in fact i view this as very, very, limited point of view and existence.
It’s just a social construct that some people pick it up to give meaning to their existence.
Oh yeah I’m not saying it is one time use. I’m saying even if you grant the premise that it is one time use that the idea that you shouldn’t be with someone who is going to outlive you or that you’re going to outlive yourself is plain stupid.
I might not end up finding anyone else and remarrying if my wife passes away before me. Not because I’m not going to try or because I believe I can’t love anyone else. I’m just an asexual introvert and would most likely just be focused on being happy single then if I happen to meet someone I vibe with then I’d be open to seeing where it goes.
Even if you believe that, the idea that losing you would be such torture as to outweigh any good of being with you is utter bullshit. And even if you think it would, you don’t get to make that choice for someone else!
My wife recently got diagnosed with a small tumor on her pituitary gland. Her health already wasn’t the best, and she’s a week shy of exactly 5 years older than me. So I already knew I was most likely going to outlive her. But even if you told me I was going to outlive her by literally hundreds of years you would never catch me choosing not to be with her for however long I get. I’d choose to be with this woman every single time.
If she died tomorrow it would destroy me. But it’s precisely because it will hurt me so much that I’m going to cherish every single moment I have with her for as long as I have her. And when the time does come to say goodbye I’m going to live on carrying those memories with me for however much longer I have before I join her wherever it is we go when this is all over. Because I know that she would want me to be happy in the time I have without her.
Sorry to hear this and I empathise with your situation. ‘Loss’ is a difficult emotion
I completely agree with “we don’t get to make that choice for someone else”. This shall always be true.
But if someone implies : that loving someone is just a one-time thing in life, like in a one-time use then… this is their choice …
But i’m not bound to this… and in fact i view this as very, very, limited point of view and existence. It’s just a social construct that some people pick it up to give meaning to their existence.
Fine … ‘you do you’ …
Oh yeah I’m not saying it is one time use. I’m saying even if you grant the premise that it is one time use that the idea that you shouldn’t be with someone who is going to outlive you or that you’re going to outlive yourself is plain stupid.
I might not end up finding anyone else and remarrying if my wife passes away before me. Not because I’m not going to try or because I believe I can’t love anyone else. I’m just an asexual introvert and would most likely just be focused on being happy single then if I happen to meet someone I vibe with then I’d be open to seeing where it goes.
How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard