I did it very slowly over a few years. Friends already knew I was non-conforming and considering a new name from a limited audience Facebook post I had made talking about names I was considering. And when I decided to start hormones I let some friends know that I had, and they asked if I was using a new name. Acquaintances kind of picked up on it and asked if I hadn’t or a friend hadn’t already told them.

My family I sent text messages, I live far away and don’t really do phone calls much.

The hardest was work. I didn’t change it for a couple of years. I work 100% remote and never use a webcam, so people didn’t see my physical changes. I have a lot of connections across the company who know who I am from meetings and asking me questions that I’m an expert on.

I actually ended up telling a few people I work with closely last summer and then putting my name into an avatar picture (it’s short) in every company website, messaging app, etc. I left that up for a while and told people who asked about it. Then I went on medical leave for my bottom surgery for 3 months. I scheduled my legal name change during that time period. I somewhat recently got back and with the legal name change going to HR, my name changed on a bunch of places automatically (email, WebEx, HR sites, Confluence, SharePoint, etc). So, that was the hard cutover. It’s gone pretty well. My coworkers spread the word for me for the most part to people I don’t really talk to. I’m sure a lot of people didn’t ask me directly but asked my coworkers which is fine, I know it’s an uncomfortable subject for some.