The rule of thumb was always “models usually don’t seek out wallhuggers”. It’s frequent enough that there’s a help desk you’re supposed to call or email and let know when it happens who’ll walk you thru the steps so you can make sure you’re not being manipulated.
… honestly, it’s service I wish was offered to civilians. State subsidized autism relationship advice hotline.
I used to basically do it. I was talking to young guys online since before Reddit, and then when Reddit blew up I was right there as well on the frontlines of a huge relationship-related subreddit doing the same thing. I never fancied myself an expert, but I am good at communication and a lot of these guys just needed help being explained how dating and relationships “work” and expect some kind of proceduralism around it.
You can scream until you’re blue that it’s not a system with rules and levers you pull, but if someone is neurodivergent, they’re going to be stuck on “X leads to Y, which means Z” mentality about relationships, and then they will try to apply that thinking in real life, meet rejection or embarrassment and get really bitter and angry. Right wingers and grifters (but I repeat myself) seized onto this with a thousand different “systems” erupting like volcanos in Iceland, covering whole swaths of people with bullshit “redpill” and “PUA” bullshit.
I tried. I really did. I had great success with the guys I focused on, but for every self-described incel who thanked me for helping turn their lives around, 30 more were waiting behind him, each angrier and more foul-mouthed than the last.
The rule of thumb was always “models usually don’t seek out wallhuggers”. It’s frequent enough that there’s a help desk you’re supposed to call or email and let know when it happens who’ll walk you thru the steps so you can make sure you’re not being manipulated.
… honestly, it’s service I wish was offered to civilians. State subsidized autism relationship advice hotline.
Not even kidding, this would probably help the whole of our society. This is why people flocked to Andrew Tate and his ilk.
I can’t imagine the therapy bills for the workers on the hotline but yeah it sure would address a lot of society’s problems wouldn’t it…
I used to basically do it. I was talking to young guys online since before Reddit, and then when Reddit blew up I was right there as well on the frontlines of a huge relationship-related subreddit doing the same thing. I never fancied myself an expert, but I am good at communication and a lot of these guys just needed help being explained how dating and relationships “work” and expect some kind of proceduralism around it.
You can scream until you’re blue that it’s not a system with rules and levers you pull, but if someone is neurodivergent, they’re going to be stuck on “X leads to Y, which means Z” mentality about relationships, and then they will try to apply that thinking in real life, meet rejection or embarrassment and get really bitter and angry. Right wingers and grifters (but I repeat myself) seized onto this with a thousand different “systems” erupting like volcanos in Iceland, covering whole swaths of people with bullshit “redpill” and “PUA” bullshit.
I tried. I really did. I had great success with the guys I focused on, but for every self-described incel who thanked me for helping turn their lives around, 30 more were waiting behind him, each angrier and more foul-mouthed than the last.
It was too much, and it’s extremely exhausting.