• fartographer@lemmy.world
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    1 day ago

    Every time I’ve tried sleeping in the nude in the past 15 years, I had explosive diarrhea across the bed. Fortunately, I’ve never shat on my wife, but she’s told me that if I ever try to sleep naked with her, that she’s moving to the couch.

    • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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      21 hours ago

      Every time I’ve tried sleeping in the nude in the past 15 years, I had explosive diarrhea across the bed.

      would prefer nude but I fart way too much to roll these dice.

    • Taleya@aussie.zone
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      21 hours ago

      Is alcohol or sickness a factor or do you just have a violently shy butthole?

      • fartographer@lemmy.world
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        18 hours ago

        I struggle with being able to tell when I need to use the restroom until it becomes somewhat urgent, and I eat questionable things.

        • Taleya@aussie.zone
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          18 hours ago

          wonderfully valid username in that case.

          Also you are neurodivergent in case you weren’t aware.

          • fartographer@lemmy.world
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            10 hours ago

            you are neurodivergent in case you weren’t aware

            Just cuz of my debilitating ADHD, obsession with counting, pitying and anthropomorphizing inanimate objects, repeat tasks until I “do it right” according to arbitrary standards, process pain improperly, assume I’m a burden to everyone around me, and wash my hands until they bleed?

            Or is it because I come up with sick-ass usernames?

            • Taleya@aussie.zone
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              10 hours ago

              Disconnection from bodily states and tendency to eat things that you probably shouldn’t for dat sweet sweet dopamine.

              (ASD maries to an ADHD :)

    • vladmech@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      . . . How many times are we talking here? Like a weird two nickels, or enough that it’s a really creepy coincidence?

      • fartographer@lemmy.world
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        1 day ago

        Only twice. Separated by nearly a decade. I was gun-shy after the first incident, and decided it wasn’t worth the effort after the second.

    • ByteJunk@lemmy.world
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      1 day ago

      Perhaps we could consider investigating the train of circumstances that have led you to sleep naked in the past, as I feel it may shed some light into the volatile rectum situations.

      • mojofrododojo@lemmy.world
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        21 hours ago

        I feel it may shed some light into the volatile rectum situations.

        a) do you really want to know more about this guy’s rectum? 0.o

        b) jfc you’ve never tried street tacos? roll the dice and live a little