The real answer is that only works sometimes. Different girls like different things, and no matter how hot or nice or cool or rich you are, some girls will just not be into you. Women are individuals, it’s not a hard concept.
i just wish more would actually say no instead of saying “thanks” or something neutral like that
i can take rejection but thanks comes off like “eh, maybe but you seem kind of lame/weird”, which in my head becomes a challenge to show them your not lame. which then becomes a thin line between trying to convince them to give you a shot vs being pushy, if that thanks was meant as a “no thanks”.
as an autist, it frustrates me when people don’t just say what they mean.
Yes, but they do that because men freak out and threaten them when they just flatly say no. And it’s terrifying when that happens. It’s not them being rude of flaky or obtuse to try and be annoying, rejecting a man is potentially dangerous and they are in the shitty position where they have to mitigate that danger.
I don’t think its just a few assholes. Men react badly to rejection REGULARLY, to the point that every woman I know has been threatened or screamed at by men they have rejected kindly. I’ve even witnessed it happen on several occasions with strangers and to my friends and have had to step in. And not just a few times, like I can think of ten times at least where I’ve had to involve myself when seeing something like that happen.
Hell, even in healthy relationships. I noticed my husbands mental health was getting rough, so I tried to bring it up. He got so defensive so fast, tried to flip it on me when he got panicky.
We talked that incident out, but people seem to generally just get defensive about sensitive things all the time, like reflexively. Unless you’ve done extensive inner work, it’s how it goes. How many avoidants walk this earth christ
Exactly, and you have to remember what the context of the game theory were, picking up women in crowded bars. What works there, and on the subset of both men and women that goes to those places, will not always work in other settings with other people.
The real answer is that only works sometimes. Different girls like different things, and no matter how hot or nice or cool or rich you are, some girls will just not be into you. Women are individuals, it’s not a hard concept.
i just wish more would actually say no instead of saying “thanks” or something neutral like that
i can take rejection but thanks comes off like “eh, maybe but you seem kind of lame/weird”, which in my head becomes a challenge to show them your not lame. which then becomes a thin line between trying to convince them to give you a shot vs being pushy, if that thanks was meant as a “no thanks”.
as an autist, it frustrates me when people don’t just say what they mean.
Yes, but they do that because men freak out and threaten them when they just flatly say no. And it’s terrifying when that happens. It’s not them being rude of flaky or obtuse to try and be annoying, rejecting a man is potentially dangerous and they are in the shitty position where they have to mitigate that danger.
I get it though, even if only 1% of men react violently to direct rejection, it makes sense to be careful. Not a lottery you want to play.
So much of dating dynamic feels like it’s just been ruined by a few assholes, and the internet giving those assholes more reach only exacerbates it.
I don’t think its just a few assholes. Men react badly to rejection REGULARLY, to the point that every woman I know has been threatened or screamed at by men they have rejected kindly. I’ve even witnessed it happen on several occasions with strangers and to my friends and have had to step in. And not just a few times, like I can think of ten times at least where I’ve had to involve myself when seeing something like that happen.
Hell, even in healthy relationships. I noticed my husbands mental health was getting rough, so I tried to bring it up. He got so defensive so fast, tried to flip it on me when he got panicky.
We talked that incident out, but people seem to generally just get defensive about sensitive things all the time, like reflexively. Unless you’ve done extensive inner work, it’s how it goes. How many avoidants walk this earth christ
Exactly, and you have to remember what the context of the game theory were, picking up women in crowded bars. What works there, and on the subset of both men and women that goes to those places, will not always work in other settings with other people.