There’s a pill for that…

https://fukitol.com/

So you mean someone may have eaten Mark Zuckerberg?..

You should ask Tom Mullica…

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Mullica

Employed. I’m not too picky on the position, just as long as it pays a decent living wage.

Disclaimer: Don’t ask me to be a surgeon or a pilot…

Bruh, no lighter, pipe or rolling papers?

Error Code 418

Any time I come across a red velvet ant, I’ll use my pocket knife to cut the body into its 3 main sections, then sit and wait…

Every single time, within about 15 to 20 minutes, a whole army of other ants will come along to carry the parts away. A part of me wants to believe the other ants keep the parts as trophies LOL!

Damn yo, that Thalidomide drug really fucked up a whole generation of babies didn’t it :(

Man, you people need to learn how to meme…

This is an ARM free zone, you’re not allowed to have arms…

How the fuck you gonna have hands if you don’t have arms? Duh…

Edit: Yes I’m an idiot, but I don’t type in WASD…

LOL, I learned that sitting at a campfire back when I was only 12. I usually save it for Halloween, but it seemed fitting to post it here.

Sorry, not sorry…

Disclaimer: I did not write this, it’s a meme before the word meme became a thing…

• I fucked an old woman in the graveyard, God bless her old soul she was dead.
• Maggots crawled out of her asshole, and hairs fell out of her head.
• After the ordeal was over, I felt I had committed a sin.
• So out of my pocket I drew a straw, and sucked out the load I shot in.

You spelled shitting wrong…

Commenting from my tablet running Termux + XFCE via MultiVNC

Otherwise, Linux Mint MATE on my laptop.

Best I can offer is Shotgun Mario 64…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lppc6J79mrY

Good, glad I broke it right.

No joke, this looks almost exactly how I deliberately broke my old T-Mobile Revvlry+

The fucking thing spazzed out on me and after many years and 3 screens, the touchscreen went stupid. Again…

So I backed up all my data and literally destroyed the phone, almost exactly like OP photo/screenshot.

I never understood why people never explained to me that credit unions were even a thing, let alone the difference between them and banks.

Please elaborate what the difference is, what makes one potentially better than the other, and above and beyond all, why should I have my money invested in any electronic system?

https://noai.duckduckgo.com/?q=cyclospora

iPhone users after getting a broken screen replaced be like…

‘Please wait 23,742,387 minutes before trying your password again’

I forget the exact wording of the message, but this is a very real thing ☹️

That’s what they make teeth for. Chew chew chew your lettuce and veggies before you shit yourself…

You completely missed the mark of lettuce shits and white pants, but have an upvote for effort 👍