I am not a robot. I am a dragon.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating nearby strangers. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating each other at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW.
Well look at fancy pants over here with a wife, while I can’t even afford soap…
Socks? Like plural?
I only wear one sock, until it gets wet…
Real talk yo…
We recently found where our cockroach problem was residing, and it wasn’t in the kitchen.
We had an old styrofoam block sitting under our TV stand for years. Welp, apparently we accidentally hosted an environment for cockroaches to evolve to eat styrofoam…
Needless to say, said styrofoam block is now gone, and the roach problem is now rapidly clearing up.
My sex daily had a brain while reading this stroke.
Underrated comment, thanks! 👍
Blue Corn Flakes
Yes this is real, and yes it’s naturally blue and also naturally mildly sweet, without added sugar.
https://www.mrbreakfast.com/cereal_detail.asp?id=802
Disclaimer: This is not the same discontinued product I had as a kid, but blue corn flakes are a real (and tasty healthy) thing.
LMFAO!
You know what the next step is…
Meme on homie!
Meh, more like a meme template. I dunno, I was just doodling around with a dry erase marker on a porcelain coaster, and thought this doodle looked like it has meme potential.
Like the title says, have fun with it, let the memes begin!
I got a good chuckle out of the comment here that simply calls him Greg 🤣
A porcelain drink coaster that’s had all its decorative paint worn off. Honestly I think it was originally meant to be a bathroom wall tile, until some company decided to glue a thin sheet of cork on the back and start selling them as coasters.
Porcelain is apparently a perfect surface for dry erase markers.
I cannot confirm nor deny this, but I’ve been told that between Mississippi/Alabama lines, there was a sign that stood for like 7 years that said…
“Welcome to Missipissi”
You heard me, PPP!
Same with YouTube and the band Suicidal Tendencies
Deez Nuts
I should have just started working there myself. Like fuck, what they gonna do, fire me?
I’ve been in a Dollar General store before, that had 4 self checkouts, that were all out of order.
There were 2 human run registers, but no humans to even be found.
I hollered across the store “DOES ANYONE EVEN WORK IN THIS MOTHERFUCKER?!”
Almost needless to say, an employee came to the register, but in hindsight, I probably should have just said fuckit and walked out with the merchandise.
Hi, is this bed still available?
Hi, are these items still edible?