“You’re very self-aware” is basically a meme in the corners of the internet that discuss trauma. It’s a genuine compliment on the part of the therapist, but also an implied admission that they won’t be able to help you.
You’re already aware of the observations they would make and the tools they would propose, so you might as well skip to the end and look for another therapist.
In terms of being into weird random stuff probably from the very beginning. I remember reading about a study where they taught mice to associate the smell of lemons with sex, and they developed a strong preference for lemony partners. The takeaway was there ‘is’ no universal set of sexually relevant stimuli, it’s learned. So if mice do it I’d bet homo erectus was getting up to some freaky stuff on occasion.
The other definition would be non-normative sex acts, which makes you wonder when did we start having norms for how we have sex. Like I don’t imagine people were doing missionary with their clothes on in the back of the cave.
I had the same issue, and eventually realized we have resources specifically for learning this: I started reading parenting books.
I would recommend “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn as a starting point.