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A thread of the posts by @cait.bsky.social. They read as follows:
I had my first talk therapy session with my new therapist and she hit me with the “you’re very self-aware” ☹️
not the “pleasure to have in class” of therapy
that’s right, I know all the tools and have developed countertools so they no longer work. welcome to thunderdome
As someone who grew up constantly criticized, still no idea
I had the same issue, and eventually realized we have resources specifically for learning this: I started reading parenting books.
I would recommend “Unconditional Parenting” by Alfie Kohn as a starting point.
On one hand, good to know there is an answer; on the other, I’m generally priced out of purchasing books, so it’s as good as being forbidden from learning the answer (unless I find a summary online).
Come on. Now you’re just being lazy and looking for excuses. There are so many ways, legal and illegal, to get access to books for free. Don’t be a help-rejecting complainer.
How you would treat a child, how your childhood self should have been treated not how you were treated as a kid. If a kid came up to you with your problems what would you say?
Take the criticism for example. Would you not tell the kid some along the lines of “that sucks, bud. Its not really your fault. I’ve been there and made it through, you can too.”
I don’t know, wasn’t “tough love” supposed to be necessary to prevent kids from growing up too pampered and entitled? At least that’s how I used to be treated back in the day, as if any assistance would make me incapable or unwilling to sustain myself (not like that made any difference, I was still unable to pull my own bootstraps and am therefore well behind my peers)
That is the alleged sentiment I suppose, there’s a difference between tough and abusive that many parents never really figure out. There’s no one type of parenting that is best for all kids. Pulling up by your own bootstraps is a paradoxical statement for a reason.