the unethical bit is that is it the social expectation and default, pushed by states and religions. so much so that the alternative has to include “ethical” in the name. why? why is polygamy considered inherently unethical? because the state and churches push monogamy as the acceptable form of relationships.
Also, I get how going against the mainstream might be indistinguishable from rage baiting. however, that is not my intention. I am open about my views, and if anyone engages I’ll reply as honestly as I can. and for the most part, I assume whoever I’m talking to has good will.
I know this topic is something most people have never considered, or at least took a serious critical take on it. And I get is unpopular. Especially the “relationship anarchy” view on cheating.
Then say that. Say that the societal expectations around monogamy are unethical (which really isn’t that crazy of a take). Don’t say “monogamy is unethical” carte blanche because thats not really what you mean. Thats where it feels like ragebait, and is a classic formula they use.
it’s called a conversation, I just said it. I said it’s unethical, I’m asked to elaborate, I elaborate.
it isn’t my substack where I write an essay and that’s it.
I do consider it unethical. but thanks to a conversation, we can clarify each other.
sorry if it sounded rage baity.
also. this is a conversation, not a debate. my goal is that if you walk away, you can at least understand where I come from. I have no intention that anyone reading this will seek a divorce and join a polycule. although I do think realizing that relationships can be whatever people want them to be is something everyone should be aware of.
I know vibe doesn’t transfer though text. but I hope this conversation is more like having a chat with someone at a cafe. rather than online vitriol.
Societal expectations don’t make anything inherently ethical/unethical. It’s a societal expectation that we don’t go around murdering people. Is not murdering unethical?
People can have their relationships however they want to. Monogomy or polyamory or whatever. What makes it ethical is not hurting or coercing those involved.
there are some coerciveness in the fact that monogamy is the expected relationship, enforced by religions, families, and states.
and as a normarive thing, it should at least bw questioned, even if you agree with it.
like murder is bad, that is a normarive statement enforced by religions and states. but questining it, I have to agree, murder IS bad. and guess what. if you disagree with me, (this is a conversation not a debate but indulge me the following statement) I’ll call it a win if you just question it, even if you don’t change your mind.
But if two people agree they want to be monogamous with each other because that is what they want, nothing to do with society, then it’s not unethical.
For what it’s worth, I enjoyed reading your takes. I’m probably not 100% where you are, but I think I’m pretty close, even if I don’t necessarily want to admit it.
It’s important to question every rule and norm we inherited in our society, even if you end up agreeing with them, it’s still paramount to question them.
Bro just loves to ragebait. You can be perfectly happy like that, doesn’t mean monogamy is unethical.
the unethical bit is that is it the social expectation and default, pushed by states and religions. so much so that the alternative has to include “ethical” in the name. why? why is polygamy considered inherently unethical? because the state and churches push monogamy as the acceptable form of relationships.
Also, I get how going against the mainstream might be indistinguishable from rage baiting. however, that is not my intention. I am open about my views, and if anyone engages I’ll reply as honestly as I can. and for the most part, I assume whoever I’m talking to has good will.
I know this topic is something most people have never considered, or at least took a serious critical take on it. And I get is unpopular. Especially the “relationship anarchy” view on cheating.
Then say that. Say that the societal expectations around monogamy are unethical (which really isn’t that crazy of a take). Don’t say “monogamy is unethical” carte blanche because thats not really what you mean. Thats where it feels like ragebait, and is a classic formula they use.
it’s called a conversation, I just said it. I said it’s unethical, I’m asked to elaborate, I elaborate.
it isn’t my substack where I write an essay and that’s it.
I do consider it unethical. but thanks to a conversation, we can clarify each other.
sorry if it sounded rage baity.
also. this is a conversation, not a debate. my goal is that if you walk away, you can at least understand where I come from. I have no intention that anyone reading this will seek a divorce and join a polycule. although I do think realizing that relationships can be whatever people want them to be is something everyone should be aware of.
I know vibe doesn’t transfer though text. but I hope this conversation is more like having a chat with someone at a cafe. rather than online vitriol.
Societal expectations don’t make anything inherently ethical/unethical. It’s a societal expectation that we don’t go around murdering people. Is not murdering unethical?
People can have their relationships however they want to. Monogomy or polyamory or whatever. What makes it ethical is not hurting or coercing those involved.
there are some coerciveness in the fact that monogamy is the expected relationship, enforced by religions, families, and states.
and as a normarive thing, it should at least bw questioned, even if you agree with it.
like murder is bad, that is a normarive statement enforced by religions and states. but questining it, I have to agree, murder IS bad. and guess what. if you disagree with me, (this is a conversation not a debate but indulge me the following statement) I’ll call it a win if you just question it, even if you don’t change your mind.
But if two people agree they want to be monogamous with each other because that is what they want, nothing to do with society, then it’s not unethical.
I don’t 100% agree, but as long as it is questioned rather than passively adopted as normarive standards then that’s good.
For what it’s worth, I enjoyed reading your takes. I’m probably not 100% where you are, but I think I’m pretty close, even if I don’t necessarily want to admit it.
It’s important to question every rule and norm we inherited in our society, even if you end up agreeing with them, it’s still paramount to question them.