• im_just_a_gerbil@thelemmy.club
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    6 hours ago

    katy perry has a well documented past of SAing ppl, including an 18yr old singer. drunk straight women love to SA queer women and think that they will be flattered by it. i’m not surprised

    • how_we_burned@lemmy.zip
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      1 hour ago

      think that they will be flattered by it. i’m not surprised

      In my experience all the gay guys I knew loved getting handsy with me.

      They thought they could make go gay presumably with their “incredible” technique.

      Didn’t work…but jeebus the amount of having to fend them off. Not to mention the never ending commentary about how I’d be better off gay.

      But I don’t consign every gay man to this behaviour in the same way I don’t consign hetros who rape women as if somehow all men are rapists.

      • MartianRecon@lemmus.org
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        16 minutes ago

        Can confirm. I’ve had way more gay men try to be handsy or to try and convince me to fuck around than I’ve seen the other way around.

    • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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      2 hours ago

      Throwing a whole group of people in there with the actions of some idiots is a tiny bit rude.

      Signed, a straight man who kind of likes not being treated as a rapist and murderer.

      • Comrade_Spood@quokk.au
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        36 minutes ago

        They are talking about a trend with straight people, not accusing every straight person of being a rapist. Rule of thumb, if someone critiques an identity that you are a part of and the critique doesnt apply to you then its probably not about you. Coming in and saying this type of shit makes you seem like an asshole who isnt listening to marginalized peoples’ struggles.

        Like for example I hear houseless people complain about nurses and doctors a lot because they tend to assume they are dope-seeking. If I was a nurse, I would listen and do my best not to be the kind of person they are talking about. I would not tell them “You should stop generalizing, cause I don’t do that.” It feels very invalidating and makes you come off as very self-centered.

        I aint gonna say people couldn’t rephrase better to avoid over generalization, but just saying that lets stop making it about ourselves when people are talking about real and serious problems affecting them. Be an active listener and dont be a part of the problem if you aint gonna be a part of the solution

        • Instigate@aussie.zone
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          5 minutes ago

          Rule of thumb, if someone critiques an identity that you are a part of and the critique doesnt apply to you then its probably not about you.

          Try telling that to victims of racism, homophobia, transphobia, and other forms of bigotry. It’s not a particularly sound piece of advice.

        • LH0ezVT@sh.itjust.works
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          55 minutes ago

          Then let me rephrase it, because I forgot it’s the internet and people will try to misunderstand me.

          As a member of a non-specified group X, I would hate it if people would precondemn me based on thing Y, which a part of group X does more than the average population.

          I could have picked any other stereotype, I just happen to be not a woman, and of the majority ethnicity in my country. Blame my parents.

          However, based on this hypothetical, yet relatable thought experiment, saying that a group does a bad thing because some people who happen to be in that group do that bad thing more often than other people is at the very least rude.

          • im_just_a_gerbil@thelemmy.club
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            43 minutes ago

            uhhhhh no one misunderstood what you were saying - thank you for bringing the conversation back to what matters, the struggles of the most victimized group of all time. make sure you let every queer voice on the internet know what we should focus on. i really appreciate it thanks so much <3

        • mika_mika@lemmy.world
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          1 hour ago

          I mean, I get it’s inappropriate to be like “what about men”. It’s pretty clear they are talking about blanket judging straight women for Perry’s actions. “Not ALL straight women” - ya see?

          In my experience though, they lean towards harassing gay men over queer women. 😅