It’s not a bad movie, but it’s a fucking weird movie. The Wachowskis said - this is a cartoon. We’re doing everything cool in CGI. Why should we be held back by cameras, or traditional editing, or the laws of physics? So there’s scenes where dialog and flashbacks that would otherwise be desaturated intercuts, or maybe splitscreen inclusions, are turned into characters floating across the screen, in intense close-ups, with their rotating body serving as the border for a wipe between shots, during a fucking race. Bad-guy dialog isn’t mumbled over the radio or seen in grimly realistic cockpit shots. Their eyes appear above the rushing track, staring down at the protagonist, and get dollar signs for pupils as they declare how he is surely doomed.

It’s not a cartoon adapted into live action. It is live action as a cartoon.

Honestly the only high-concept decision that I’d call a “mistake” is how they changed absolutely nothing from the original 60s-ass character designs. Everything is aggressively colorful, and deeply tacky, in ways that Stranger Things would pull off much better. Some comics artist thought it’d be funny to give the main dude a little brother with a chimp sidekick, and put them both in stupid little hats that were easy to draw, and Lana pushed that drawing in front of a costume designer and insistently tapped on it.

It is admirably committed to being totally fucking ridiculous. Characters don’t have deep motivations because they don’t need motivations. The main dude’s name is Speed Racer. Of fucking course he wants to go fast. There’s your fuckin’ backstory.

All of this would be incredible if the movie wasn’t so god-damn long.

Somewhere in the edit, there must have been a bonkers 90-minute film that had the pacing to carry its absurdity. But for some reason the final movie is longer than Star Wars. This completely fucks up the pacing. Races that should be jawdropping spectacles leave you overstimulated long before they’re over. Quieter character interactions are relaxed, but shallow, because again, their backstories go “Pops is Speed’s dad” and “Chim Chim is a pan troglodytes troglodytes who wears pants.” Not a lot of meat on that bone. So conversations can be intense, or emotional, or surprising - but they’re pantomime.

I’d recommend it with a three-drink minimum. You kinda have to turn your brain off and just take it all in. Though I would make that two shots before you go in and then a beer to slowly nurse, because again, you’re not getting up for another two hours and change.

It’s nice to know others appreciate this movie like I did.

I firmly believe Speed Racer is the best movie that ever flopped.

This is the first movie we watched when we got a 1080p TV. It was sent to us by mail in a red envelope lol

People were shitting on it and yeah some parts were annoying, mostly the younger brother and monkey scenes for me but the action scenes were fun to watch.

Fuck yeah. I loved that movie.

Another great movie covered by the Kill James Bond podcast

I really enjoyed this movie as a kid. I saw it twice in theaters.

Watched the cartoon as a kid(re runs). Mad crushed on Christina Richie since Casper onward. John Goodman is a GOAT.

I absolutely went and saw this in theaters. It was weird and twitchy and fantastic to watch. A shame there was only the one.

Is that Tim Cruise?