• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    55 years old isn’t really that old though.

    You don’t notice women in their 50s in your day to day life at all? They’re all fat or otherwise disabled?

    Like no, this is still mind blowing to me that a single 55 year old woman in shape left you “genuinely baffled and in disbelief”

    • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      8 hours ago

      Look I don’t know what to tell you… I have no reason to lie about this.

      Yeah, in my life, most older people tend to let themselves go.

      Yes, most older people I’ve known as friends or family or regular acquaintances or coworkers are somewhat to significantly more fat than they were in their 30s, and yes, by the time they hit 55, many of them also have at least one somewhat to very serious kind of disability.

      Maybe I’m just from a poorer millieu than you, where people don’t tend to have the money or time to afford good food and healthcare and spare time to excercise?

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        8 hours ago

        I mean, I live in the US. There’s a lack of good food and healthcare and spare time here more than most.

        I want to challenge you to take a real look around the next time you’re in like a grocery store or somewhere public. There are a lot of women in their 50s doing just fine and looking great and they’re not celebrities.

        Again, finding out fit women in their 50s exist shouldn’t leave you genuinely baffled and in disbelief.

        • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          7 hours ago

          … I’m autistic and thus abnormally aware of patterns and details, basically all the time, everywhere, by default.

          What I have described to you as my reality, as my lived experience, is accurate.

          To me, a 55 yo woman in … yeah, basically as good of shape as a world famous celebrity actress? EDIT: (of similar age)

          Exceptionally uncommon.

          About the same level of exceptionally uncommon as a random 55 yo man being in the same shape / physique as say, Liam Neeson or maybe Daniel Craig or Idris Elba.

          Can you really just not accept that another person’s lived experience could… significantly differ from your own?

          • velma@sh.itjust.works
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            7 hours ago

            Just being on FetLife will show you plenty of women in their 50s in pretty good shape.

            I don’t understand why you believe that women like this don’t exist other than celebrities (which was like pulling teeth to get you to admit, I might add). I’m aware that most of society believes that older women are useless and thus invisible to the male gaze, but Jesus Christ, dude - is it really true to this extent for you?

            Edit: Kisses to my stalker today, thanks for the downvotes! I love that you take the time to dutifully go through my post history and downvote each comment. Shows you really love me <3

            • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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              7 hours ago

              You seem to be deliberately missing the part where I said ‘in my local area’.

              In my local area… no, so far in my experience using fetlife, you are wrong.

              The woman I am talking about is absolutely exceptional in terms of physique, compared to her peers in the same area, I have yet to see anyone comparable… though of course, again as I previously said… I’ve only just started using the site.

              Sure, if I look … across everyone on the entire site, everywhere, then yes, I will most likely see more 55 yo women who have great physiques.

              But I don’t live in New York or LA or Paris or something.

              I live in a ‘city’ with a population significantly under 500k, and its a poorer city, in a poorer state.

              You are the one who decided that what I originally said and meant was ‘no 55 yo women exist who have exceptional physiques’. You interpreted it that way, ignoring pertinent context and then explicit statements from myself where I made every attempt to explain that no that is not what I meant…

              … and you are trying to spin this as extracting a confession from me.

              This is bad faith in the extreme.


              I also never said that most older women are invisible to me. I talk to a fair number of older women in my apartment… somewhat regularly, when we pass in the halls or what not. I enjoy their conversation, occasionally I help them out with some kind of chore type task, they help me out with some kind of chore… I just am not generally sexually attracted to them.

              I explictly said that it would be ridiculous to have the same physical expectations for a 30 yo and 55 yo woman, yet you persist in insulting me and painting me as a misogynist who thinks all old women are ugly.

              Also, I’m not the one downvoting you. Somebody else is doing that. You could verify this if you wanted to, I believe there are tools by which possible to do that on lemmy, or you could ping a mod or admin if you really want, i think they could as well.

              I hope you do not consider it ‘stalking’ to reply to a conversation chain that you started and are continuing.

              People can be ‘not in 100% agreement with you’ and not be a stalker-misogynist.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                7 hours ago

                People can be ‘not in 100% agreement with you’ and not be a stalker-misogynist.

                I wasn’t calling you a stalker-misogynist unless you’re the one downvoting every single comment I make.

                • Holytimes@sh.itjust.works
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                  6 hours ago

                  I’m just some random, but I basically down voted every single post you made in this thread cause you are kinda just being a ignorant asshole who seems to have no ability to actually understand the concept of first hand experience.

                  It wasn’t till your comment pointing out stalkers that I bothered to click your profile.

                  Basically everything you say is really shitty or bad faith.

                  I doubt you have a stalker I think you are just kind of a shit person and people disagree with you.

                  And for the record I didn’t bother down voting things from other threads. I’ll leave that to your paranoia and “stalkers”.

                  Also who the actual fuck even looks at their own up and down votes? How self centered do you have to be to actually care about that? This isn’t Reddit. They’re even more worthless than already worthless imaginary made up internet points.

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    5 hours ago

                    For the record, I’m aware some of my opinions are deeply unpopular here. I still don’t call you a “shit person” because I might disagree.

                    You’d be hard pressed to find any comments of mine that are as rude as yours here.

                    Edit: Wow, that moderation history of yours sure is something lol

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    6 hours ago

                    It’s possible to talk about first hand experiences without painting attractive older women as some cryptid that’s never been seen before.

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                7 hours ago

                I live in a city that isn’t even at 250k population and see plenty of regular women over 55 that are fit.

                I simply don’t believe you that out of hundreds of thousands of people, there’s no middle aged women that are fit in your city. It’s not believable.