It’s funny, I have had that exact experience with guys when I was young. The second I started returning the interest, they would drop me like I was a venomous snake and go flirt with someone else.
Until I met my boyfriend I just thought men didn’t want women to like them back. Color me confused when the pre historic version of incel/manosphere culture began bitching about women playing hard to get back in the late 2000s/early 2010s on various forums.
Was over here like: y’all are the ones who run for the hills whenever a girl shows you she likes you, though. 🤷♀️
I’m the same as you, but in reverse: I sometimes miss being alone, but I don’t miss the flirting and the attention.
And honestly, the “missing the loneliness” has kinda been fixed now that we no longer live in small apartments, but have a house with rooms where we can be ourselves when we need it. We are that weird kind of couple who love being alone together. He does his thing, I do mine and occassionally one comes over to give the other a hug and a smooch. And if one or the other needs extra attention, we put down whatever we are working on to give it to them. For example, he’s gotten hooked on collecting fossils recently and sometimes he bursts with the need to do lectures about pre-historic aquatic life and their anatomy and he comes over and dumps one fossil in my hands after the other while he talks. It’s the same when I go off on one of my things. Like I can talk at length about movies, foreign cultures and their habits and languages. And then we have a mutual interest in birds. Like I saw a raven fly over our house the other day and immediately called him and we babbled for several minutes about my observations to make sure it was a raven and not a crow. If either of us are out and see a weird bird, we snap a pic if possible and send it to the other and discuss what bird it is if it isn’t immediately apparent.
How the frick would I find a guy like that ever again? Do they even make those anymore? I need someone to match my level of mundane weird.
Ps: this is his most recent bird identification pic in our privat chat. He correctly identified it as a curlew. I double checked my bird lexicon. The rest of our chat is full of pictures of fossils xD
Oh man I love birds! You two sound so solid and really cool, just so you know!!
All of that sounds just lovely. And I totally get missing being alone/independent and how with the right partner and living conditions you can still get that :)
As for the attention on my part, my partner doesn’t mind it when I flirt with friends because they know we are monogamous so it’s all just for fun, but it does help me get the attention I so desperately need :P
Thank you xD I mean, I’m a fan of us too, but I’m also super biased lol.
I think its awesome that you guys have that agreement. There are also many different ways of flirting and the innocent kind, is no harm no foul. And as long as people figure out what works for them and everyone is happy, then who can be mad? I think I have pretty much seen it all at this point, considering that I have always moved in unconventional social circles. I’m a pretty basic bitch, but somehow have always found myself around people who are gay or trans or in polyamorous relationships or are swingers or into extreme body modification and so on (methinks it is undiagnosed ADHD or something like that. Fucking always end up with the outcasts in society). I can tell the difference between people who are in healthy dynamics and those who aren’t. Flirting with friends while everyone involved understand the boundaries, is so chill.
It’s funny, I have had that exact experience with guys when I was young. The second I started returning the interest, they would drop me like I was a venomous snake and go flirt with someone else.
Until I met my boyfriend I just thought men didn’t want women to like them back. Color me confused when the pre historic version of incel/manosphere culture began bitching about women playing hard to get back in the late 2000s/early 2010s on various forums.
Was over here like: y’all are the ones who run for the hills whenever a girl shows you she likes you, though. 🤷♀️
Story of my LIFE until I met my current partner
hehe, yeah. Honestly, good for us. I for one, am so relieved that I’m off the market. It’s so draining, dude xD
I have moments where I miss the flirting and the attention, but I don’t miss the loneliness…greener grass and all that.
I’m the same as you, but in reverse: I sometimes miss being alone, but I don’t miss the flirting and the attention.
And honestly, the “missing the loneliness” has kinda been fixed now that we no longer live in small apartments, but have a house with rooms where we can be ourselves when we need it. We are that weird kind of couple who love being alone together. He does his thing, I do mine and occassionally one comes over to give the other a hug and a smooch. And if one or the other needs extra attention, we put down whatever we are working on to give it to them. For example, he’s gotten hooked on collecting fossils recently and sometimes he bursts with the need to do lectures about pre-historic aquatic life and their anatomy and he comes over and dumps one fossil in my hands after the other while he talks. It’s the same when I go off on one of my things. Like I can talk at length about movies, foreign cultures and their habits and languages. And then we have a mutual interest in birds. Like I saw a raven fly over our house the other day and immediately called him and we babbled for several minutes about my observations to make sure it was a raven and not a crow. If either of us are out and see a weird bird, we snap a pic if possible and send it to the other and discuss what bird it is if it isn’t immediately apparent.
How the frick would I find a guy like that ever again? Do they even make those anymore? I need someone to match my level of mundane weird.
Ps: this is his most recent bird identification pic in our privat chat. He correctly identified it as a curlew. I double checked my bird lexicon. The rest of our chat is full of pictures of fossils xD
Oh man I love birds! You two sound so solid and really cool, just so you know!!
All of that sounds just lovely. And I totally get missing being alone/independent and how with the right partner and living conditions you can still get that :)
As for the attention on my part, my partner doesn’t mind it when I flirt with friends because they know we are monogamous so it’s all just for fun, but it does help me get the attention I so desperately need :P
Thank you xD I mean, I’m a fan of us too, but I’m also super biased lol.
I think its awesome that you guys have that agreement. There are also many different ways of flirting and the innocent kind, is no harm no foul. And as long as people figure out what works for them and everyone is happy, then who can be mad? I think I have pretty much seen it all at this point, considering that I have always moved in unconventional social circles. I’m a pretty basic bitch, but somehow have always found myself around people who are gay or trans or in polyamorous relationships or are swingers or into extreme body modification and so on (methinks it is undiagnosed ADHD or something like that. Fucking always end up with the outcasts in society). I can tell the difference between people who are in healthy dynamics and those who aren’t. Flirting with friends while everyone involved understand the boundaries, is so chill.