• froh42@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    3
    ·
    21 hours ago

    Yes. “Regular sex” is the kind where people just assume what the other wants, where they don’t talk about it and where they don’t agree about consent before and do what both think is “common practice”.

    Kinky sex is where you find out what both like, whatever it is, what’s ok for both (consent) and where you have fun and do what the fuck you both like, not thinking about what the fuck someone else might think.

    • Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      1
      ·
      16 hours ago

      I don’t agree. Consent isn’t a kink. It’s a baseline bare minimum.

      Without it, anything you do IS rape.

      Kinky sex does require communication. From there you can go anywhere you both want.

      But even standard vanilla no frills sex ALSO requires consent.

      • froh42@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        edit-2
        5 hours ago

        Should I have added a sarcasm marker? I experience it regularly that people involved in kink care about consent - and a lot of vanilla people don’t. Which is awful.

        Yes, you always need consent.

        It was a bit of bitterness and attempt at sarcasm that so many people do not talk about consent - and I know from kink even that can be fun and sexy. (Also in vanilla).

      • danciestlobster@lemmy.zip
        link
        fedilink
        arrow-up
        1
        ·
        10 hours ago

        That’s interesting. I would have said kink is more about the activity being done than the conversation and lead up to it. I mean the conversation is obviously important but I wouldn’t have thought part of the definition

        • froh42@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          arrow-up
          1
          ·
          5 hours ago

          Kink is stuff “out of the percieved norm”, so it has developed a culture of finding consent, that - sadly! - a lot of “normal people” don’t have.

          I want this always.

          (And I’ve probably confused the person following up to my comment with my attempt of sarcasm)