I’ve mainly heard said by a person about herself, or from one woman to another, often as a way to make a joke of the sort that implied that they thought whatever task it was (that required the big girl pants) was big and difficult while acknowledging that it actually is not, e.g. “I put on my big girl pants and rang the council to tell them I need a new recycling bin”
There’s a difference depending on who it is coming from. Another woman using the word “bitch” for example is different than a man calling a woman a “bitch”.
When a man is telling a woman to use her “big girl words”, it is problematic. This meme is not showing that it is being used in a light-hearted way. This is punching down.
I think it’s uncharitable to assume that, and the risk of assuming the best is tiny, whilst the risk of assuming the worst is everyone getting angry with each other for no reason. I don’t know if OP is a man and I don’t want to go checking every user’s gender before deciding what I think about what they’ve said, and even if I did, I think there are situations where men can make the same light-hearted jokes as women - whether it’s ok depends on a lot more than that.
That’s more or less what I’d assumed you meant initially, but I similarly wasn’t going to assume that without checking, because launching into an argument based on an assumption of what you meant could just lead to you getting angry with me, whilst the risk of me challenging my own assumption and waiting to see carried only the risk that I’d never know.
I had commented to open the conversation, I’m not sure if you clocked that I didn’t respond in anger at all in this thread. I got closed off after a certain user started attacking me. I was more curious WHY OP used that title than anything, like why gender this? For what reason? What is the message being sent here?
But again, everyone assumed what I meant in my initial comment and here we are.
I still think OP used a problematic expression in a negative way, but they haven’t graced us with a comment clarifying and I have people up my ass calling me a misandrist.
When I’ve already wasted my time giving you evidence in dms once, it kinda disincentivizes me from wasting my time on it a second time, knowing that you won’t listen.
So, I think I’ll just let you take what message you will from the comments and votes in this thread, and if you want to add it to your imaginary misogynistic persecution complex instead of recognizing it as the reaction of a community that is aware and tired of your subtle, dog-whistling misandry, then so be it.
But whenever I happen to see a comment like this of yours as I’m scrolling the frontpage, you can be sure that I’ll continue to call it out, just as I hope you continue to call out the actual misogyny that exists on Lemmy.
So, I think I’ll just let you take what message you will from the comments and votes in this thread, and if you want to add it to your imaginary misogynistic persecution complex instead of recognizing it as the reaction of a community that is aware and tired of your subtle, dog-whistling misandry, then so be it.
Misandry isn’t the reverse of misogyny. There’s no anti-men power structures being kept in place by women, there isn’t women-dominated governments stripping men of their rights, there’s no systemic violence against men perpetuated by women in power.
There are certainly individuals that hate men, but misandry simply doesn’t exist the same way misogyny does.
The times it’s been said to me have been condescending and meant to shame.
For the record, telling a grown woman to “use her big girl words” or put on her “big girl pants” is incredibly rude.
That sounds unpleasant.
I’ve mainly heard said by a person about herself, or from one woman to another, often as a way to make a joke of the sort that implied that they thought whatever task it was (that required the big girl pants) was big and difficult while acknowledging that it actually is not, e.g. “I put on my big girl pants and rang the council to tell them I need a new recycling bin”
There’s a difference depending on who it is coming from. Another woman using the word “bitch” for example is different than a man calling a woman a “bitch”.
When a man is telling a woman to use her “big girl words”, it is problematic. This meme is not showing that it is being used in a light-hearted way. This is punching down.
I think it’s uncharitable to assume that, and the risk of assuming the best is tiny, whilst the risk of assuming the worst is everyone getting angry with each other for no reason. I don’t know if OP is a man and I don’t want to go checking every user’s gender before deciding what I think about what they’ve said, and even if I did, I think there are situations where men can make the same light-hearted jokes as women - whether it’s ok depends on a lot more than that.
That’s more or less what I’d assumed you meant initially, but I similarly wasn’t going to assume that without checking, because launching into an argument based on an assumption of what you meant could just lead to you getting angry with me, whilst the risk of me challenging my own assumption and waiting to see carried only the risk that I’d never know.
I’ve had discussions with OP before.
I had commented to open the conversation, I’m not sure if you clocked that I didn’t respond in anger at all in this thread. I got closed off after a certain user started attacking me. I was more curious WHY OP used that title than anything, like why gender this? For what reason? What is the message being sent here?
But again, everyone assumed what I meant in my initial comment and here we are.
I still think OP used a problematic expression in a negative way, but they haven’t graced us with a comment clarifying and I have people up my ass calling me a misandrist.
I’ve been nothing but civil with you. Your persecution complex is incredibly telling, especially in the context of your comments.
Also, you edited your comment. ;)
Claiming that I have left hundreds of misandrist comments all over c/all isn’t civil.
Again, making claims with zero evidence is really easy, isn’t it?
When I’ve already wasted my time giving you evidence in dms once, it kinda disincentivizes me from wasting my time on it a second time, knowing that you won’t listen.
So, I think I’ll just let you take what message you will from the comments and votes in this thread, and if you want to add it to your imaginary misogynistic persecution complex instead of recognizing it as the reaction of a community that is aware and tired of your subtle, dog-whistling misandry, then so be it.
But whenever I happen to see a comment like this of yours as I’m scrolling the frontpage, you can be sure that I’ll continue to call it out, just as I hope you continue to call out the actual misogyny that exists on Lemmy.
Misandry isn’t the reverse of misogyny. There’s no anti-men power structures being kept in place by women, there isn’t women-dominated governments stripping men of their rights, there’s no systemic violence against men perpetuated by women in power.
There are certainly individuals that hate men, but misandry simply doesn’t exist the same way misogyny does.
How convenient.
You get to lob accusations at me, claim you have evidence, and then bow out hours later without producing any of it.
Misandry doesn’t exist the same way misogyny does. I’ll stand by those words from here until death.
Yep, fair enough.
I do appreciate your genuine attempt at giving me a chance to clarify. Sincerely.
I try, and a lot of people don’t appreciate it, so that means a lot :)