Produced by Cutco, Knife Monopoly is a cut-throat game of skill and chance where you start as a humble knife salesman looking to build a bleeding edge cutlery empire. Journey across the world, from Damascus to Japan, to steal the secrets of steel while managing a diverse range of assets and allies: iron mines in Nigeria, sales teams in Sacramento, Sicilian hitmen, Nipponese Yakuza, and Bob from HR.
The winner is declared after cornering the worldwide cutlery market and completing the Iron Chef Triathlon with the battle cry:
“AND IT STILL CUTS A TOMATO!”
Can’t use it in an Iron Chef competition. It would void the warranty. Warranty clearly states that it doesn’t cover any commercial uses.
Thanks for the horror flashbacks though.
It’s a common misconception that the publicly funded Iron Chef Triathlon is the same as the televised Iron Chef competition.
The Iron Chef Triathlon consists of 3 sections - the Hungry Run, he Spicy Bike, and the Dim Sum Swim. Throughout this competition the Chef is limited to one set of knives.
The Hungry Run is a 2700 mile long foot race from Los Angeles to New York. Throughout the run, the Chefs compete by only cooking with locally grown organic vegetables. As this route passes through the Food Desert of the Midwest (including the horror of Kansas), where factory farming dominates, it was given the name Hungry Run as many of the Chefs could not find sufficient food to eat, and refused to tarnish their reputation by making corndogs.
The Spicy Bike is a 6,900 km bike race from Istanbul to Calcutta, throughout which each evening the Chefs compete by preparing for the locals a dish from their regional cuisine. The locals then vote to disqualify one of the contestants, who they often rob and/or harvest the organs of depending on the laws of the local municipality.
The Dim Sum Swim is a roughly 15000 km swim race around the coast of Australia, both beginning and ending in the Sydney harbor. Throughout the race, the Chefs must both harvest and prepare Dim Sum from the waters they pass through, towing a small inflatable cooking raft with a propane stove. Elimination of the Chefs at this stage is done via box jellyfish and saltwater crocodiles.
At the end of the swim, if the Chef’s knife is still sharp enough to cut a tomato, he wins the title… and thus Knife Monopoly.
Truly the most dangerous game…
A millionaire with a private island? What is this— the 1930’s? You’ve got to be a millionaire just to retire these days, and even then, it’s not a sure bet.
According to this website, Isla Leo is for sale for $499,999.00
https://www.privateislandsonline.com/search?availability=sale
I’m just about $559,999 short.
So cool that this website selling private islands doesn’t have a standard way of writing decimal points.
How much could a banana cost, a million dollars??
I’ll never not post this amazing SMBC under this:
deleted by creator
Got to love anybody who invites you to a private island and tells you you won’t be allowed to leave or call for help.
deleted by creator
I’ll probably just bring some books and all my hobby stuff
Unless there’s some DMs we’re not aware of, this seems pretty presumptuous.
It boggles my mind how rich you have to be to own a private island and keep up with all the expenses related to supply and whatnot.
Definitely out of reach for the rest of us.
deleted by creator
Is there actual REQUIRED upkeep though or could you say fuck it, and go ashore with a tent, row boat and the freshwater and food required for a week?
There is if you’re living the luxurious billionaire life
OK I’m curious. Would I be allowed:
- my blood glucose monitor? (It’s dead weight without a device reading it, but it does have a battery and it’s glued to/pricked into my arm)
- a stand-alone device reading values from it? (Think esp32 with a shitty 1.4" display)
- since I don’t actually own that, my phone for the sole purpose of reading my blood glucose?
That actually sounds really nice
Except for the implications.
I’d like to know who and where in case we go hungry, please and thank you.
Detox policy? Why not detox the entire world?
And that’s how we got rid of smartphone and people with pacemakers.
I rather meant the detoxicating the world by removing millionaires.
That you Ted?
Father Ted?
From what I have seen of millionaires if they are hunting anyone for sport it is going to have to be very heavily weighted in their favour and even then its a bit too much like work.
it is going to have to be very heavily weighted in their favour
They wouldn’t do it any other way. See: fox hunting.
“Latchkum!!”
Knife monopoly is when you go around the board and try to collect all the knives.
So far, I appear to be winning.
Pass go and do not collect 200. Go directly to jail and get stabbed.
I’m the only one with a knife and I can sell it to you for your entire fortune.
