I used to have a few drinks every day, and put a lot of effort into cutting back to fewer, and not every day. It was a struggle because I felt like, there is something suffocating and claustrophobic about my default existence, and sometimes being drunk could alter it enough that I felt like myself. Although this was increasingly rare, the possibility made it feel worth it to roll the dice, so I felt very conflicted about cutting back, even though physically it made me feel like shit in general.

Then I tried better drugs and meditation and very abruptly it didn’t feel like a struggle at all because it turns out alcohol is next to useless for that purpose. Now I have a drink every few months or if social situations call for it, most of the time I just don’t want to.