My family are like the very last people I need to come out to, and then I’ll be done with my social transition. I’ve talked about how afraid I am to come out to them so often in comments here that you all probably already know that they’re conservative Catholics.
I am so over hiding myself from them, I’m just ready for it to be over, and even if they respond poorly, at least then it’s something real and not just fear of the uncertainty
I don’t think I can do it in person though. It would be too uncomfortable, there would be too many people (I have a lot of siblings), and I don’t think I’d even be able to get the words out. But I still feel weirdly obligated, like I owe them the respect of coming out in person?
Please please tell me it’s okay to send them an email instead
If, for whatever reason, you want to make coming-out in person work, you could consider inviting them for dinner or to a café to not have “too many people around”. Or come out to your siblings first, possibly ensuring you their support when coming out to your parents. In any case, I have noticed that it helps to have supportive people around, so maybe bring a friend or some. If those you come out to are overwhelmed and don’t know how to react, seeing how your supportive friends behave towards you gives them guidance.
I can’t speak about coming out to family via text, but if it helps, here’s my coming out email at work:
subject: It's a girl! (Spoiler, click to expand)
Nobody explicitly commented on it, but the subject gave me a smile for quite some days. Especially as it’s sets up a wrong expectation about what the email entails and as the message body itself doesn’t even mention gender or pronouns.
However, I can imagine that parents might be less nonchalant about implying you’re becoming a parent, when you’re not. So maybe choose not to do that.
Haha yeah, I think my parents would not be stoked about the whiplash if they were thinking I’m about to say my wife is pregnant. I’d really love to come out to a sibling first so I know I have someone on my side, but the one only I’d feel safe coming out to has a really bigoted wife, so no luck there