My kid used to complain that I win at Mario Kart too much. I told him “I’ve been playing it since like 1993, it would be really weird if I wasn’t better at it than you.” His eyebrows shot through the roof at that
Acquaintance’s kid was the worst case of sore loser I’ve ever seen. Her parents would always let her win. Eventually she refused to play games with anyone but her parents because she was too afraid of losing. I’d visit and she wouldn’t even want to play fully random games like uno.
Kid’s been in and out of psych wards throughout her teenage years. It’s possible that underlying mental health predisposition caused her behavior but I think giving in to it only hardened those pathways in her head over the years. It’s vital to learn how to lose and still enjoy yourself.
I dunno man, even implying that the kid ended up in a psych ward because her parents let her win all the time seems kinda gross. Sounds like there’s a lot going on there that you’re not familiar with.
Are you suggesting that people’s mental health or illness somehow isn’t influenced by their home environment and the parenting skills (or lack thereof) displayed by one’s parents from an early age?
Mind you, I spent much of my late twenties going in and out of mental hospitals, and I firmly believe that a significant contributing factor that was the fact that my parents had no clue what they were doing when they raised me (unless they were trying to make me as fucked up as possible…).
So what you’re saying basically comes off as this weird essentialist take that rejects “nurture” and says “nope, it’s all nature.” In other words, you think mentally ill people are just fundamentally flawed from birth and predetermined to have terrible mental health?
By that same argument, therapy would be pointless because it wouldn’t be able to help people. But we know for a fact that it can, because “nature vs. nurture” is a false dichotomy, and you can’t attribute everything to one’s predetermined attributes from birth. Which is precisely what you’re doing when you say it’s “kinda gross” to imply the parenting style could have contributed to her trips to the psych ward.
You sound like a parent of a dysfunctional adult who can’t come to terms with your personal culpability in how your child turned out. It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes. It’s fine to admit when we do. What’s not okay is refusing to learn from our mistakes by insisting that we didn’t do anything wrong and couldn’t possibly share any of the responsibility in the matter.
That’s a wild interpretation of my post. Her inability to lose was merely a symptom. A warning sign that indicates missing coping mechanisms. In my opinion ignoring this is a bad idea. I let kids win a lot btw because there’s only so much frustration tolerance you can expect from a child but if they have none whatsoever you better try your best to help them build it up.
It’s very possible the parents didn’t have any chance of guiding her through those early years without those severe mental health issues surfacing later but most therapists will tell you that you have the best chances if you tackle these issues early instead of letting them dig their trenches deeper.
Lol seriously? They weren’t saying it was direct causation, just that it probably didn’t help, and there was likely other underlying issues. Is mental health so incredibly taboo that even talking about it is now unacceptable?
I have had similar conversation with my kid and her friends; not complaining about my winning, just their inability to beat me. I think at the time I’d literally been playing twice as long as they’d been alive.
Yep. I always plan to do more skill transfer and help them get to my level, but it’s hard to pick moments where talking won’t distract them. I have a hard time splitting attention, and they have a hard time focusing at all, so 😑
I feel like everybody always has to have some condition, some struggle, some sort of impairment which makes them unique. If I suck at something, then I suck at it. There are many legitimate conditions out there, but it just seems so … trendy? to have something.
My kid used to complain that I win at Mario Kart too much. I told him “I’ve been playing it since like 1993, it would be really weird if I wasn’t better at it than you.” His eyebrows shot through the roof at that
Acquaintance’s kid was the worst case of sore loser I’ve ever seen. Her parents would always let her win. Eventually she refused to play games with anyone but her parents because she was too afraid of losing. I’d visit and she wouldn’t even want to play fully random games like uno.
Kid’s been in and out of psych wards throughout her teenage years. It’s possible that underlying mental health predisposition caused her behavior but I think giving in to it only hardened those pathways in her head over the years. It’s vital to learn how to lose and still enjoy yourself.
I dunno man, even implying that the kid ended up in a psych ward because her parents let her win all the time seems kinda gross. Sounds like there’s a lot going on there that you’re not familiar with.
Are you suggesting that people’s mental health or illness somehow isn’t influenced by their home environment and the parenting skills (or lack thereof) displayed by one’s parents from an early age?
Mind you, I spent much of my late twenties going in and out of mental hospitals, and I firmly believe that a significant contributing factor that was the fact that my parents had no clue what they were doing when they raised me (unless they were trying to make me as fucked up as possible…).
So what you’re saying basically comes off as this weird essentialist take that rejects “nurture” and says “nope, it’s all nature.” In other words, you think mentally ill people are just fundamentally flawed from birth and predetermined to have terrible mental health?
By that same argument, therapy would be pointless because it wouldn’t be able to help people. But we know for a fact that it can, because “nature vs. nurture” is a false dichotomy, and you can’t attribute everything to one’s predetermined attributes from birth. Which is precisely what you’re doing when you say it’s “kinda gross” to imply the parenting style could have contributed to her trips to the psych ward.
You sound like a parent of a dysfunctional adult who can’t come to terms with your personal culpability in how your child turned out. It’s okay, everyone makes mistakes. It’s fine to admit when we do. What’s not okay is refusing to learn from our mistakes by insisting that we didn’t do anything wrong and couldn’t possibly share any of the responsibility in the matter.
That’s a wild interpretation of my post. Her inability to lose was merely a symptom. A warning sign that indicates missing coping mechanisms. In my opinion ignoring this is a bad idea. I let kids win a lot btw because there’s only so much frustration tolerance you can expect from a child but if they have none whatsoever you better try your best to help them build it up.
It’s very possible the parents didn’t have any chance of guiding her through those early years without those severe mental health issues surfacing later but most therapists will tell you that you have the best chances if you tackle these issues early instead of letting them dig their trenches deeper.
Lol seriously? They weren’t saying it was direct causation, just that it probably didn’t help, and there was likely other underlying issues. Is mental health so incredibly taboo that even talking about it is now unacceptable?
I harp on about sportsmanship constantly with my kid. The ADHD makes them feel terrible unless they’re always winning, and we work on that a lot.
On the day my son started beating me in the newest mario cart I was a proud father.
I’ve been playing since MK64.
I can honestly say I envy you; worthless though these skills are in daily life, there is a satisfaction in mastery that is only doubled when shared.
I have had similar conversation with my kid and her friends; not complaining about my winning, just their inability to beat me. I think at the time I’d literally been playing twice as long as they’d been alive.
Yep. I always plan to do more skill transfer and help them get to my level, but it’s hard to pick moments where talking won’t distract them. I have a hard time splitting attention, and they have a hard time focusing at all, so 😑
Why is everyone struggling to focus
warning: old man yelling at cloud
I feel like everybody always has to have some condition, some struggle, some sort of impairment which makes them unique. If I suck at something, then I suck at it. There are many legitimate conditions out there, but it just seems so … trendy? to have something.
Disorders give people an excuse as to why they suck.
Sorry, what were you saying again?
In my family, or…?
Ye
Most of us have ADHD, I just have APD and can’t process crosstalk
Its the darn screens!