I still like the “If you ride a bike and get run over, it’s the drivers fault. But you should still wear a helmet” metaphor. But I believe some people think it’s a defense of rapists, which it’s not.
It’s not my fault you can’t connect the dots here.
You’re still blaming victims for not wearing helmets when they’re hit by the driver instead of placing the blame on the driver for hitting the cyclist.
The graveyards are full of people who were not at fault, and/or in the right with their actions.
As you say, the driver is (or at least should be) at fault. But wear a helmet anyways.
That metaphor has legs. It applies to all kinds of things, from personal protection equipment, to situational hazards, to environmental hazards…
Like the guy climbing up on the umpteenth floor of a high-rise during its construction where that floor doesn’t have outside walls, or guard rails or anything… He’s not planning on falling, but he should wear fall arrest gear anyways.
I don’t plan on getting hit by a car when I direct traffic to a parking area, but I still wear a high vis vest and stand out of the path where cars are going to drive…
It’s not about blaming the victim at all. Victims are victims. But before you become a victim, you can take steps to avoid becoming one. Once you are a victim, anyone pointing out what you could have done to avoid becoming a victim, is an asshole.
I don’t plan on getting hit by a car when I direct traffic to a parking area, but I still wear a high vis vest and stand out of the path where cars are going to drive…
I didn’t know rapists were trying to get somewhere else and didn’t see their victim before they shoved their penis inside one of their orifices.
Another approach for preventing sexual assault is to learn strategies for intervening. Bystander intervention programs emphasize the importance of stopping bad behavior before it escalates, teach specific skills for intervening, and remind people that everyone has a responsibility to prevent sexual violence.
Students who participate in such programs are more confident in their ability to intervene and more willing to do so. Most importantly, rates of sexual violence are markedly lower on campuses that have implemented these programs. For example, one study found that experiences of sexual harassment and stalking were 11% lower and that instances of unwanted sexual activity with women who were too drunk or high to stop them were as much as 17% lower.
It’s tempting to read about the Cornell case and assume the apparent inaction in the face of problematic behavior is uniquely a problem at one college, or only with members of fraternities, or only with college students. But the reality is that pretty much everyone has been in situations where they’ve seen potentially problematic behavior and failed to speak up.
Understanding the very normal psychological factors that lead people to misperceive what others are actually thinking and feeling—and learning specific strategies for intervening—can make a real difference.
I still like the “If you ride a bike and get run over, it’s the drivers fault. But you should still wear a helmet” metaphor. But I believe some people think it’s a defense of rapists, which it’s not.
What we were wearing at the time of our attack was not an invitation for violence.
Do you think the lesson in that metaphor is that I think women should be wearing helmets…?
It’s not meant literally.
It’s not my fault you can’t connect the dots here.
You’re still blaming victims for not wearing helmets when they’re hit by the driver instead of placing the blame on the driver for hitting the cyclist.
This isn’t productive so I’m going to stop responding to your bad faith bait.
Try rereading the metaphor. Because I directly addressed who’s at fault.
The graveyards are full of people who were not at fault, and/or in the right with their actions.
As you say, the driver is (or at least should be) at fault. But wear a helmet anyways. That metaphor has legs. It applies to all kinds of things, from personal protection equipment, to situational hazards, to environmental hazards…
Like the guy climbing up on the umpteenth floor of a high-rise during its construction where that floor doesn’t have outside walls, or guard rails or anything… He’s not planning on falling, but he should wear fall arrest gear anyways.
I don’t plan on getting hit by a car when I direct traffic to a parking area, but I still wear a high vis vest and stand out of the path where cars are going to drive…
It’s not about blaming the victim at all. Victims are victims. But before you become a victim, you can take steps to avoid becoming one. Once you are a victim, anyone pointing out what you could have done to avoid becoming a victim, is an asshole.
I didn’t know rapists were trying to get somewhere else and didn’t see their victim before they shoved their penis inside one of their orifices.
think of it like the point of house locks, its a deterrent so the criminal goes after someone else and nit you.
All of these metaphors are assuming rape is inevitable and we should focus on mitigating the risk of rape instead of focusing on diminishing rapists.
The fault lies entirely with the person committing rape against someone else.
individuals can’t meaningfully prevent others from being rapists, they can make it less likely they get raped.
You dont talk to your friends about consent?
How confident are you that your friends are sfae people if you dont talk about it?
I know which of my friends are UNsafe people and that’s good enough for me
I though the same of some ofy old friends till we all had a consent conversation one day, and found one of them did not agree on what rape was.
Talk to your friends, and make raping a social priaia.
No, stop. We should not and can not only focus on rape victims and what they should do to avoid being raped.
People can and do influence others from being rapists. We all take part in our rape culture and we can all examine those beliefs.
What Bystanders Can Do to Stop Sexual Violence
I’m not saying to only focus on the victims, but you shouldn’t only focus on the perpetrators.
Why not?
They’re committing the crime.
Who hurt you?
I don’t think you want to know the honest answer to that question on this topic.
Maybe you’ll think a little harder about the next metaphor you use for rape though.