I’m saying people seem to think in their head they are a good person so they will just naturally do “the right thing” all the time. Then they get blindsided by their actual thoughts or feelings when they’re actually in that situation.
It’s pretty clear, but plenty of the religious people I’ve interacted with have effectively told me they don’t sin because of their religion, or they wouldn’t do something specifically because their religion forbids it. Not because they don’t want to do it, because ‘god’ says no.
Other people can get their morals from their own self, and don’t have to worry about what they would do in the moment in a situation like that. And this isn’t me talking shit. I’ve been in that situation with female identifying friends multiple times, and taking advantage of them in that state literally never crossed my mind. Because I have an internal moral compass that doesn’t need external motivation to not be a fuck head and abuse someone like that.
Ok, I can see the connection but I wasn’t really aiming for the religious angle when I used the word “temptation”, I just thought it best described what was happening.
It’s kind of similar to when people criticize someone for “selling out” when they themselves have never been offered an obscene amount of money to compromise their morals. When in reality they would probably “sell out” for much less.
I never accused you of or criticized you for taking that angle, but that doesn’t change that it’s the same energy I’ve seen all my life from those sorts of people.
Whether intentional or not, it feels like the argument is working to offload responsibility from the abuser for the abuse with an implication that anyone could fall victim to the situation, rather than it being a personal failing for choosing to engage in the abuse.
I may just be sensitive to that line of argumentation, but I can’t stand seeing it in practice. Abusers choose to engage in abuse, and a lot of time they’re just continuing the cycle because that’s what they know. And the only way to break the cycle is to call out the mentality and hope people can change, be it themselves or their argument/thought patterns. But standing by changes nothing.
It’s pretty clear, but plenty of the religious people I’ve interacted with have effectively told me they don’t sin because of their religion, or they wouldn’t do something specifically because their religion forbids it. Not because they don’t want to do it, because ‘god’ says no.
Other people can get their morals from their own self, and don’t have to worry about what they would do in the moment in a situation like that. And this isn’t me talking shit. I’ve been in that situation with female identifying friends multiple times, and taking advantage of them in that state literally never crossed my mind. Because I have an internal moral compass that doesn’t need external motivation to not be a fuck head and abuse someone like that.
Ok, I can see the connection but I wasn’t really aiming for the religious angle when I used the word “temptation”, I just thought it best described what was happening.
It’s kind of similar to when people criticize someone for “selling out” when they themselves have never been offered an obscene amount of money to compromise their morals. When in reality they would probably “sell out” for much less.
I never accused you of or criticized you for taking that angle, but that doesn’t change that it’s the same energy I’ve seen all my life from those sorts of people.
Whether intentional or not, it feels like the argument is working to offload responsibility from the abuser for the abuse with an implication that anyone could fall victim to the situation, rather than it being a personal failing for choosing to engage in the abuse.
I may just be sensitive to that line of argumentation, but I can’t stand seeing it in practice. Abusers choose to engage in abuse, and a lot of time they’re just continuing the cycle because that’s what they know. And the only way to break the cycle is to call out the mentality and hope people can change, be it themselves or their argument/thought patterns. But standing by changes nothing.
Ok that’s fair, I can get pretty defensive and misread what people are actually saying online.
I guess i was trying to issue a warning more than offload responsibility.