I can soo see this happening to someone 😂

  • CombatWombat@feddit.onlineEnglish
    23·
    5 hours ago

    Realistically, a packet of ramen seasoning is approximately as helpful of birth control as a condom that has been in a wallet for nine years.

  • rizzothesmall@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    67·
    10 hours ago

    Prob don’t use a 9 year old condom anyway. Without spermicides the latex will deteriorate after about 5 years. With spermicide solutions it will happen around 3 years. Being in a warm and often agitated wallet, this will probably happen sooner.

    You’ll end up with probably a gross funky dick rash and a gross funky baby.

    • Wildmimic@anarchist.nexusEnglish
      19·
      9 hours ago

      Yeah, if you buy a pack of condoms, store them in a dry and cool place. You can take one out and put it in the purse, but replace it after at least half a year from the safely stored stash to prevent gross funky babies and gross funky STDs.

      Edit: This goes doubly when you are in the US. The amount of multiresistant STDs in the US currently is mindblowingly high, don’t fuck around with that. And if you are in Russia, you are in HIV central anyways.

  • Asafum@lemmy.worldEnglish
    56·
    11 hours ago

    “sooo… Would you mind if we just did oral? Do you like chicken by the way?”

  • Apytele@sh.itjust.worksEnglish
    18·
    9 hours ago

    I always kept a bag of tea when I carried that kind of wallet. Just in case I needed a lil midday caffeine. One of my ‘friends’ at the time briefly stole my wallet and came back like OMG you have a–!–wait.

  • DonutsRMeh@lemmy.worldEnglish
    3·
    9 hours ago

    I know this is a meme, but there is something called pulling out. It seems not many know what the hell that is, and it blows my mind.