Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. If OP is unable or unwilling to fix a problem that is important to her, why isn’t she allowed to pay someone to fix it?
You wouldn’t say its toxic if she threatens to call a plumber after OP promised multiple times to fix the leaking toilet.
Why? Imagine your house’s door doesn’t work so you have to make a long trip through the back. You keep asking your partner to fix it. They insist they’ll get the door working. Either they can’t or don’t, doesn’t matter, but you have the money and are willing to pay for someone to fix it. Your partner insists they can fix it. I think it’s reasonable to say something like “if it’s not fixed in two weeks I’m paying someone to fix it.”
A door is not a computer. Treating your SO like your child is very toxic. If you still don’t see the problem I truly feel sorry for whoever you’re with.
Edit: A fully formed adult mind (referencing the wife from earlier) would conclude they should get a Windows computer for their very own, not manipulate and humiliate someone else.
I used to had linux mint in an old computer and for some reason the wifi didn’t work.
To me this implies it isn’t their primary computer. It’s not “manipulating and humiliating” someone else. It’s just saying, “you’ve been saying you’d fix this but it hasn’t worked, I need to use this computer for something.”
And no need to feel sorry for my wife. We’ve been together over half our lives, married for over a decade, and extremely happy with each other. My wife has done things like this to me. It’s not toxic or manipulative. Sometimes I overestimate my own skills and/or get distracted with other things.
That sounds super toxic tbh.
If OP installs Linux on the machine she uses, something she needs doesn’t work, and OP doesn’t fix it, she really has no other options.
Sounds perfectly reasonable to me. If OP is unable or unwilling to fix a problem that is important to her, why isn’t she allowed to pay someone to fix it?
You wouldn’t say its toxic if she threatens to call a plumber after OP promised multiple times to fix the leaking toilet.
Sound more like tongue in cheek to me, but it is impossible to tell from this few sentence comment.
Why? Imagine your house’s door doesn’t work so you have to make a long trip through the back. You keep asking your partner to fix it. They insist they’ll get the door working. Either they can’t or don’t, doesn’t matter, but you have the money and are willing to pay for someone to fix it. Your partner insists they can fix it. I think it’s reasonable to say something like “if it’s not fixed in two weeks I’m paying someone to fix it.”
A door is not a computer. Treating your SO like your child is very toxic. If you still don’t see the problem I truly feel sorry for whoever you’re with.
Edit: A fully formed adult mind (referencing the wife from earlier) would conclude they should get a Windows computer for their very own, not manipulate and humiliate someone else.
To me this implies it isn’t their primary computer. It’s not “manipulating and humiliating” someone else. It’s just saying, “you’ve been saying you’d fix this but it hasn’t worked, I need to use this computer for something.”
And no need to feel sorry for my wife. We’ve been together over half our lives, married for over a decade, and extremely happy with each other. My wife has done things like this to me. It’s not toxic or manipulative. Sometimes I overestimate my own skills and/or get distracted with other things.