• Sal@lemmy.world
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    3 days ago

    I’ve heard this happening (in various different ways) from countless women that I’m friends or acquintances with.

    If I, a former /r/KotakuInAction visitor who managed to fall out of the alt-right pipeline, who also has pretty bad rejection sensitive dysphoria, can learn how to be rejected without getting violent, or even mildly annoyed, anyone can. The reason people don’t is because they don’t want to and want to blame women for the fact they act like complete cunts.

    People don’t realize is that there’s a taste for literally everything. If you spend any time on fandom spaces you’ll see women thirsting for dudes, real or not, that most people don’t consider conventionally attractive. The reason no one dates incels is not because of their body type, or because they’re nerds, or any other excuse they can think of, it’s because they’re pieces of shit and it reflects on their personality, and no one likes people who have a shitty personality. Hope that explains it to you.

    • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      The reason no one dates incels is not because of their body type, or because they’re nerds, or any other excuse they can think of, it’s because they’re pieces of shit and it reflects on their personality, and no one likes people who have a shitty personality.

      There are plenty of people who are incels that do not fit this definition, and it does no one any good (you making yourself feel morally superior doesn’t count) to generalize them all based on Internet stereotypes.

      What if anxiety and/or trauma prevents you from being able to even try to initiate romantic contact with someone, or ever allow yourself to be vulnerable to the degree required to make any sort of actual connection? Does that make you a “piece of shit”, too?

      The majority of people who have no sex/relationships, against their will, are not the stereotypical “incel”.

      • Sal@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Obviously I’m talking about people who DO fit the internet incel stereotype, who would act like the man in the damn comic. I don’t know how you managed to pull out something completely irrelevant when I’m on topic.

        • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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          3 days ago

          “When I call ‘women’ pieces of shit, I’m only talking about the bad ones”

          Why do I get the impression you wouldn’t find something like the above convincing if you were on the other end of it?

          This is the mentality of a racist who calls a black friend ‘one of the good ones’.

          ‘I only meant the bad ones’ is not justification for making generalizations about any demographic.

          • Sal@lemmy.world
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            3 days ago

            I literally made NO REFERENCE to people with social anxiety whatsoever. I HAVE IT. Everyone who mentions incels in the internet is talking about the ones we see in the fucking internet. Someone not getting laid is not automatically an “incel” in the internet sense unless they feel entitled to women’s bodies.

            • ObjectivityIncarnate@lemmy.world
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              3 days ago

              I literally made NO REFERENCE to people with social anxiety whatsoever.

              Yes, I am aware that you painted “incel” with only the stereotypical brush strokes.

              Everyone who mentions incels in the internet is talking about the ones we see in the fucking internet.

              Not everyone. This is the same as someone denigrating “feminists” by talking about all of the stereotypical man-hating behavior, and then when someone replies “hey, there are plenty of feminists who don’t act like that, most even, you shouldn’t generalize”, that person responds saying “everyone who mentions feminists on the internet is only talking about the stereotypical ones”.

              ‘I just meant the bad ones’ is not justification for generalizing, period.

    • chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 days ago

      can learn how to be rejected without getting violent, or even mildly annoyed, anyone can. The reason people don’t is because they don’t want to

      it’s because they’re pieces of shit and it reflects on their personality, and no one likes people who have a shitty personality

      Rejection makes people feel bad as a rule. That’s not an excuse for treating others badly, and there’s ways to learn to have a healthier mindset, but I think it’s worth mentioning that it’s ok for people to at least feel the way they do and that having the “wrong” emotions in response to things doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you might have to work harder to make sure to treat others with decency.

      • Sal@lemmy.world
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        3 days ago

        Well yeah rejection kinda sucks but you gotta take it in stride. If you get any type of violent response to rejection however I question if you’re actually capable of handling it.

    • Tattorack@lemmy.world
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      3 days ago

      That’s… Not the point I’m making at all.

      The top two panels are scenario A.

      The bottom two panels are scenario B.

      Both scenarios are real. As in there are guys who just want girls to be forward and not give vague mixed messages. Then there are also guys who feel entitled to women.

      People from scenario A are usually not the same kind of people who do scenario B. Yet this comic portrays both to be the exact same person and then just blames “guys” in general for it.

      Edit: this is not the first time I’ve seen comics from this creator, and they mostly seem to involve this exact pattern.

      • Nalivai@lemmy.world
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        2 days ago

        The point of the comic is that there is a number cases who are actually the same people in scenario A and scenario B. Not all the people, but those people do exist, and the number is so high, every woman who dated for some time had those encounters, every single one.

        • Tattorack@lemmy.world
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          2 days ago

          There will always be outlyers. But the “yup, about what I expected” at the end of the comic draws this behaviour as something universal you can just expect, which is simply untrue.

          The number being high is just plain nonsense. Obviously everyone who has done dated will at least have met one such person. That a statistical inevitability.

          Should I regard women as spoiled, entitled brats simply because I have happened to meet two or three in my life? Should I consider black people as untrustworthy, dirty swindlers because I met ONE who was?

          Should I make a comic about how hypocritical all people are because I met a few that were nice, but also a few that just sucked?

          If you have any rational bone in your body the obvious answer would be “no”.

          • Nalivai@lemmy.world
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            2 days ago

            draws this behaviour as something universal you can just expect

            Not universal, ubiquitous enough that you can fear it and expect it. This inability of understanding the difference between “all” and “a lot” is quite common both in general, and especially in this scenario. Especially prevalent in the form of “well, I’m not like that, therefore people like that are exceptionally rare”, regardless even of the correctness of this statement.
            Let’s demonstrate this on an example that will not trigger your innate misogyny:
            I live in a country where trains are notoriously unreliable. I come to a station, and my train is late. I write a post “damn, my train is late again, just as I expected”. You come to this post, and say “You’re stupid because not all trains are late, and by the way my trains are always on time, so you’re lying actually, and also it’s your fault because sometimes people miss their trains”.