I’ve also had numerous fantasies of poisoning my friends and family with my bipolar meds. Sadly, there are these things called “laws”, so I’ve never even seriously considered doing it.
The most regularly occurring fantasy involves me poisoning my father with seroquel. That was the first fantasy I got, way back in 2009. I imagined laughing at him and telling him he still sounded manic after being borderline comatose after I duct taped him to a chair and funneled seroquel down his throat.
I know what you’re thinking…“BRO…you need therapy…” well guess what, there are few things I love more than lying to doctors
Even about not taking meds. You will find a proper way for you. They will not punish you for not taking meds. They will maybe help you find better meds or even help you get rod of them in a healthy way.
TBH I have rarely lied to my doctors. But I’ve always wanted to. I just didn’t have the guts to do it, so I took their pills without complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% going to start lying to doctors from now on. These days, my shrink and my therapist hear only what I want them to hear.
Do not do that. You will not get punished. They are there to help you. They will help you figure your best way forward. They will perscribe you different medicine or they will even help you figure out a strategy so you do not have to take meds.
This is very common. People stop taking meds because they hate side effects. And then the sickness wins. And people like you kill themselves or other. This is very common. And your feelings regarding this topic are common.
But there are many different meds that can help you in different ways with different possible more bareable side effects. Do not do it. Some random stranger (me) here, probably on the other side of yhe world cares for you. Do not endanger yourself or people around you just because you hate some side effects. Just be honest with you therapist and you will figure everything out together. You can even aks for your therapist to be changed. But please discuss this with proffessionals.
I’m just a little burned out at this point because the side effects have lasted 17 years and are the main reason why I am completely unemployable because I haven’t worked in a decade. I was not even motivated to change my clothes or brush my teeth, let alone apply for jobs.
Understandably! Those sound as the signs of depression. If it is caused by meds those should most probably be changed. And I really do not envy your situation. However the only way forward is with a professional. They will now how to advice you. You can DM me if you need someone to talk to. (Just note I usually respond only once a day)
Definitely! Here’s what I’ve learned. (by the way, this is JUST for me. I’m well aware that what doesn’t work for me may work for others)
Seroquel, depakote, litihum, haldol, and lamictal are all poison.
what
how is this relevant
I’ve also had numerous fantasies of poisoning my friends and family with my bipolar meds. Sadly, there are these things called “laws”, so I’ve never even seriously considered doing it.
The most regularly occurring fantasy involves me poisoning my father with seroquel. That was the first fantasy I got, way back in 2009. I imagined laughing at him and telling him he still sounded manic after being borderline comatose after I duct taped him to a chair and funneled seroquel down his throat.
I know what you’re thinking…“BRO…you need therapy…” well guess what, there are few things I love more than lying to doctors
You don’t need therapy, you need to be institutionalized because you’re a threat to the people around you.
facts
I bet you couldn’t even steal 700 shopping carts.
You know you should not lie to the doctors? They are the only people who can really help you.
Even about not taking meds. You will find a proper way for you. They will not punish you for not taking meds. They will maybe help you find better meds or even help you get rod of them in a healthy way.
Because from your comments: This is not healthy.
TBH I have rarely lied to my doctors. But I’ve always wanted to. I just didn’t have the guts to do it, so I took their pills without complaining. Don’t get me wrong, I am 100% going to start lying to doctors from now on. These days, my shrink and my therapist hear only what I want them to hear.
Do not do that. You will not get punished. They are there to help you. They will help you figure your best way forward. They will perscribe you different medicine or they will even help you figure out a strategy so you do not have to take meds.
This is very common. People stop taking meds because they hate side effects. And then the sickness wins. And people like you kill themselves or other. This is very common. And your feelings regarding this topic are common.
But there are many different meds that can help you in different ways with different possible more bareable side effects. Do not do it. Some random stranger (me) here, probably on the other side of yhe world cares for you. Do not endanger yourself or people around you just because you hate some side effects. Just be honest with you therapist and you will figure everything out together. You can even aks for your therapist to be changed. But please discuss this with proffessionals.
I’m just a little burned out at this point because the side effects have lasted 17 years and are the main reason why I am completely unemployable because I haven’t worked in a decade. I was not even motivated to change my clothes or brush my teeth, let alone apply for jobs.
Understandably! Those sound as the signs of depression. If it is caused by meds those should most probably be changed. And I really do not envy your situation. However the only way forward is with a professional. They will now how to advice you. You can DM me if you need someone to talk to. (Just note I usually respond only once a day)
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