For me, I noticed that a lot of my general negative feelings became more specific, like finally being able to put a name to it let me realize what was at the root of those feelings. Unfortunately, being aware of it more specifically also made the dysphoria worse. Curious about others’ experiences though
Oh, this is an excellent question.
Yeah, everything that had been general background malaise became a lot more specific once I knew I was trans. It became a lot easier to pinpoint “I don’t like this about myself”. Which sucks, because I felt bad, but was also good because I could do something about it. Mostly that was “wait for HRT to sort it out”. And, mostly, HRT has fixed it. Or just time in general, like growing my hair out or losing weight.
The other thing I noticed is I tend to have a single thing that really bothers me, and everything else is a lot less of a bother. Once that’s dealt with, the next most important thing becomes apparent, and so on. At first I didn’t know whether I wanted bottom surgery, because I was so upset just looking male in general. But once my face softened up and my hair started to grow out, it suddenly became very obvious to me that surgery would be necessary.
The absolute worst thing when I was just starting out was my face looking like a man. I tried makeup, and that just made me look like a man in makeup. But, slowly, it started working: a bit of mascara made me feel better. Then foundation started smoothing out my face, rather than highlighting the masculine features. Eye shadow and lipstick started looking good.
Time-wise, I think the absolute worst period for me was about three months in. Six months, I started to see the effects of HRT. Nine months, I started passing as a woman. Twelve months, I could see it for myself.