And sometimes all of those conversations are just being dominated by self-important yappers, who are basically just shit testing your ability to recognize a social dominance hierarchy, by establishing that whatever you may have to say is less important than whatever they have to say is.
That’s true. But we also need to consider that sometimes we might be that yapper. I’m sure there’s a few people here who relate to this meme while their friends think they just keep on talking if not stopped hah.
I do this by telling people that sometimes I yap and go off on tangents, please free to interject if I’m dominating the conversation and don’t realize it, I won’t be offended.
Socializing is actually really simple when the rules are clearly and explicitly established, as opposed to a mixture of unspoken norms and boundaries that everyone just either guesses at, or assumes that everyone has the same norms and boundaries as themself.
I just go quiet for a while, then they notice and won’t let me enjoy my peace. I’m just trying to imagine what a life, where you can actually opt out of socializing would be like…
Well, it is possible to live a life where you can do most of your work remotely, do most of your interaction digitally, such that you can just … not answer a call, not be in a voice chat room, or whatever.
Its not easy to accomplish this, but it is possible.
Pull that off, somehow, and then you have much more control over how often you choose to expose yourself to obnoxious and performative social functions.
But even without that:
Stand up for yourself, politely assert your boundaries and expectations, in any kind of relational context, and if people violate them, go with either a 2 or 3 strikes rule, and then if they keep breaking them… ignore/ghost/avoid them to the greatest extent possible.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“You were rude to me, after I told you the things I find rude.”
If they, on their own, attempt to apologize, well, judge that per the specifics of that situation.
My personal rule is that if that happens, I leave.
Fuck em, I can either find some other people to talk to, or I am at the wrong party, and need to re-evaluate my social circle.
Sometimes there’s just a few too many conversions going on at the same time and it’s just not the right time for your thing.
And sometimes all of those conversations are just being dominated by self-important yappers, who are basically just shit testing your ability to recognize a social dominance hierarchy, by establishing that whatever you may have to say is less important than whatever they have to say is.
That’s true. But we also need to consider that sometimes we might be that yapper. I’m sure there’s a few people here who relate to this meme while their friends think they just keep on talking if not stopped hah.
Oh, sure, yeah.
I do this by telling people that sometimes I yap and go off on tangents, please free to interject if I’m dominating the conversation and don’t realize it, I won’t be offended.
Socializing is actually really simple when the rules are clearly and explicitly established, as opposed to a mixture of unspoken norms and boundaries that everyone just either guesses at, or assumes that everyone has the same norms and boundaries as themself.
I just go quiet for a while, then they notice and won’t let me enjoy my peace. I’m just trying to imagine what a life, where you can actually opt out of socializing would be like…
Well, it is possible to live a life where you can do most of your work remotely, do most of your interaction digitally, such that you can just … not answer a call, not be in a voice chat room, or whatever.
Its not easy to accomplish this, but it is possible.
Pull that off, somehow, and then you have much more control over how often you choose to expose yourself to obnoxious and performative social functions.
But even without that:
Stand up for yourself, politely assert your boundaries and expectations, in any kind of relational context, and if people violate them, go with either a 2 or 3 strikes rule, and then if they keep breaking them… ignore/ghost/avoid them to the greatest extent possible.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“You were rude to me, after I told you the things I find rude.”
If they, on their own, attempt to apologize, well, judge that per the specifics of that situation.
But don’t encourage or ask them to.
Suffer no fools, ghost all assholes.