L E G U M E S!
How do I get a GF on the Fediverse?
Download Linux, wait for programmer socks, become girlfriend.
Lemmy: I have between 0 and 4 boyfriends on any given day, depending on their gender identity and whether you consider a ThinkPad running Arch a “boy”
Average Lemmy boy: I may or may not be a boy today

I’m sure a polycule has both tried this and had to stop because it was causing too much anxiety/drama.
Aside, but I hate that people say “my (F 21) boyfriend (M 53) prevents me” instead of “my boyfriend (M 53) prevents me (F 21)”
I don’t understand. “Prevents” is correct. But she said “forbids.”
I had a typo. Reread it. It’s the “my (gender age)” part that annoys me. “My boyfriend” is a person, “me” is a person, but “my” is not a person.
I think the order of words was the point here.
Surely if it’s full of missing women’s driving licenses it’s not a sock drawer, it’s a missing women’s driving licenses drawer. Is the sort of reply I’d post if it were reddit.
The other day, someone posted “I have 3 cats that roam my garden for food and cuddles. I don’t have a cat.”
And I posted “Yes you do, you have 3 cats, that’s how cat ownership works.”
Some people can’t see what’s directly in front of their faces.
“Surely they’re not missing, you’ve found them”.
Geocities/MySpace:

Youtube: The REAL reason I have a boyfriend and YOU DON’T (MUST WATCH)
Wikipedia: A boyfriend is a man who is a friend or acquaintance to the speaker, often specifying a regular male companion with whom a person is platonically, romantically or sexually involved.
[Citation needed]
YTA for revealing his cross dressing spy identity!
4chan copypastas have more credibility than the average AITA post.
Mastodon: My boyfriend is on his period, and needs distracting, anyone know a good show i can put on my Jellyfin media server?
BlueSky: I did once have a girlfriend, but we seperated amicably.
LinkedIn: I don’t have “boyfriends”, I have unpaid live-in interns
Accurate LOL
The Fast Show
fake. this implies that the poster took the time to figure out that the licenses belonged to missing women. everybody knows that AITA posters can’t do an ounce of work by themselves
Hey reddit AITA for coming you with serious relationship concerns instead of using my brain for 30 seconds?
Stack overflow: I removed all ads via adblock from the network, now my girlfriend got mad because her google ads are missing.
That was me. Added PiHole at router level, broke her workflow (she works in advertisement).
You can’t fix her, bro.
She doesn’t need fixing
She works in advertising.
She doesn’t need fixing.
These statements are mutually exclusive.
Yup, worked in advertising. No longer work in advertising. Life much better. Just quite a bit poorer.
She just needs her fix
Of ads
Nothing to ad, I’m just here to dogpile on marketing majors
Nothing to ad

Got Milk?
I love dairy on its own merits, they didn’t need to install the DFA MKULTRA trigger word in me
I’ve got nipples, Greg.
No, but I’m hungry for apples.
My man!
You don’t know me
Has she considered upgrading to being unemployed. Or maybe becomming something at least slightly more morally sound like a prison guard or an ice agent.
Wait. Are you me? I have this same story.
Not sure. Did you do a lot of bad life decisions? Then I might be you
Nope! Not me. Phew.
But sorry for yours. Seriously.
“IF YOU LIKE PIŇA COLADA…”
Fun fact: I have a github repo with a whitelist for Google ads.
OK, that one sounds fair.
Literally saw a comment on Lemmy just like this recently.
I saw a similar response on reddit years ago…
Also reddit:
My gf didn’t close the tooth paste in the bathroom.
Reddit: Red flag, LEAVE HER
Today it’s the toothpaste, tomorrow it’s your neighbours penis
Could be worse… Could be wafflestomping
lemmy: “pointlessy gendered. btw, I use arch.”
Lemmy: STOP POSTING CENSORED SHIT

No I can’t. I don’t have a working mic.
but… our AdVeRtIsErS
Wow this image personally offends me let me go bitch on twitter, after all what else is that shithole used for.
/s
FUUCK
…and the commenter has 0 posts, 3,422 comments…
deleted by creator
Or…
37 posts
326 comments
Banned from 23 communities
Joined 2 hours agoI feel personally attacked.
I’m sorry everyone, I just like commenting and talking to people more than trying to be creative.
Why ‘personally attacked’? Do you aggressively complain and comment about others’ content?
Do you not?
listen,
It’s fine, without people like you and me it’d be very quiet around here. Just people
screamingposting into the void.
And at least 50% are REMOVE THE CENSORED SHIT WE ALL HATE IT
YOU CAN SAY C*S ON THE INTERNET!
css?
Please don’t post that without a trigger warning. Some of us are IE6 survivors.
.censored-shit { display: none; }
tumblr: my boyfriends are misha and jensen
its me i’m tumblr
Even when joking about the phenomenon, Jared gets no love


















