It’s very hard to tell that you’re listening. Maybe that’s something else you can work on, I’d be happy to provide feedback so you can help people feel heard and included.
Bro, if we’re talking about convenience tone, you’ve come off like that from the start with people. I don’t think you meant it, but you sounded very “holier and more socially enlightened than thou”, especially when you doubled down on explaining things rather than like, trying to understand what they were saying.
I think it’s fair to say that explaining my views more thoroughly when it’s clear that they’ve been misunderstood is important. Further, the original commenter misunderstood the post, thinking it accelerationist, which I tried to explain why it isn’t. None of that was me being condescending.
Based on voting totals though, it seems most people understood me. I’m not telling anyone how to feel, and for the minority that misunderstood me, further elaboration helps clear it up. I’m not sure what you’re trying to add to that.
I’m trying to get you to understand that you’ve been coming off like a dick and trying to help you not come off like a dick, because I believe in what you’re trying to do, and coming off as a dick is hurting the cause of things we both want in this world.
Telling people that you aren’t coming off as a dick (i.e. condescending) is saying their feelings aren’t valid and is being a dick. So yeah, you were telling people how to feel. “Well I wasn’t trying to be a dick so you shouldn’t feel like I was being a dick” isn’t a great for you, me, or our mutual cause.
If you’ve been misunderstood, it’s important to know why you’ve been misunderstood, and that involves listening more, not talking more.
Most people seem to have understood me, and for those who haven’t, I’ve clarified. I am listening, but also responding.
It’s very hard to tell that you’re listening. Maybe that’s something else you can work on, I’d be happy to provide feedback so you can help people feel heard and included.
I don’t really like the condescension in your tone, it leads me to believe your advice wouldn’t be very helpful in making people feel heard.
Bro, if we’re talking about convenience tone, you’ve come off like that from the start with people. I don’t think you meant it, but you sounded very “holier and more socially enlightened than thou”, especially when you doubled down on explaining things rather than like, trying to understand what they were saying.
I think it’s fair to say that explaining my views more thoroughly when it’s clear that they’ve been misunderstood is important. Further, the original commenter misunderstood the post, thinking it accelerationist, which I tried to explain why it isn’t. None of that was me being condescending.
You don’t get to tell others how they feel about things, that’s very invalidating.
If you weren’t intending on being condescending but to others you seem condescending, that’s a problem to fix on your end, right?
Based on voting totals though, it seems most people understood me. I’m not telling anyone how to feel, and for the minority that misunderstood me, further elaboration helps clear it up. I’m not sure what you’re trying to add to that.
I’m trying to get you to understand that you’ve been coming off like a dick and trying to help you not come off like a dick, because I believe in what you’re trying to do, and coming off as a dick is hurting the cause of things we both want in this world.
Telling people that you aren’t coming off as a dick (i.e. condescending) is saying their feelings aren’t valid and is being a dick. So yeah, you were telling people how to feel. “Well I wasn’t trying to be a dick so you shouldn’t feel like I was being a dick” isn’t a great for you, me, or our mutual cause.