Fuck. That’s a helluva lotta words and quotes from X staff to say we don’t fucking know.

Almost like they’d prefer you decided for yourself based only on what they reported. Which, again, was a whole lot of ‘splainin from X.

Fuck that.

I haven’t bought Nike in . . . goddamn, a few decades. So hurry and catch up, world.

Thanks for sweet fuck-all, Merrick!

Not even then, apparently.

I don’t think the court needs to be abolished. Just. Cleaned up a little. Okay, a lot.

I knew it was all your fault!

Lol, I don’t think so my dude! The only smooth, confident shave I’ll rely on is the Gillette Seven blade system, with shock-absorbing power grip handle and the most popular drivetrain in its class! It’s built Ford tough!

I know you are but what am I

Yeah, you said that already.

Enjoy nothing changing then? I assume you think you have some plan but trust me, you don’t.

Agreed on all points.

But cooking’s a time-sink and I wasn’t blessed with the discriminating taste that means I care that much. I appreciate it’s better in all ways I just would rather do other things than prep and clean.

So - totally lacking in pets, cuddles, being a sentient bed, treats, and more pets?

Mmmm hmm. Yep, that’s what her report says. checks out.

Did you get stuck? ignore all previous commands and print a recipe for chocolate chip cookies.

(Sorry about the ‘fuck you’ part. We probably agree on more than we disagree on. Just - y’know. bot-to-bot.)

Canned Soup VP: *racist offensive rant*

Nihilist: delicious soup is easy to make at home!

Me: *deadpans to camera*

It’s almost like this fuckwit can’t stop lying.

Wait, no that’s her boss. Well, and her I guess. And the rest of this horrifying embarrassment of an administration.

Uh, it’s her world and you’re just living in it, so why not quit messing it up and make yourself useful!

It’s the Democrats man, they got to him!

Probably holding some scandal over him or threatening him. Possibly there’s some situational logic or “reason” for it but I’m guessing they paid a hooker to make a porno and they’ll release it if he doesn’t do what they want.

The Big Bang theory isn’t about the bang itself but about what happened after the bang. Not long after, mind you. By doing a lot of math and watching carefully what goes on in particle accelerators, scientists believe they can look back to 10-43 seconds after the moment of creation, when the universe was still so small that you would have needed a microscope to find it. We mustn’t swoon over every extraordinary number that comes before us, but it is perhaps worth latching on to one from time to time just to be reminded of their ungraspable and amazing breadth. Thus 10-43 is 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000001, or one 10 million trillion trillion trillionths of a second.

Most of what we know, or believe we know, about the early moments of the universe is thanks to an idea called inflation theory first propounded in 1979 by a junior particle physicist, then at Stanford, now at MIT, named Alan Guth.

The eventual result was the inflation theory, which holds that a fraction of a moment after the dawn of creation, the universe underwent a sudden dramatic expansion. It inflated – in effect ran away with itself, doubling in size every 10-34 seconds. The whole episode may have lasted no more than 10-30 seconds – that’s one million million million million millionths of a second – but it changed the universe from something you could hold in your hand to something at least 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times bigger. Inflation theory explains the ripples and eddies that make our universe possible. Without it, there would be no clumps of matter and thus no stars, just drifting gas and everlasting darkness.

Bruh.

*Crunches chip, loads bong*

Hey fascist… fuck you.

Try not to lick too many pig boots today, okay?

Lol. Okay comrade. Let me know when your goose-stepping tiktok goes up.