This is my life. Whenever I lay down in bed, my cats will cover me.
It looks nice at first but it makes masturbation very inconvenient and often dangerous.and often dangerous.
I HATE THAT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU’RE SAYING.
For anyone out of the loop: moving your hands under the covers triggers their hunting response and you will likely end up with claws in your hands and…whatever’s in your hands.
Yeah don’t let the animals know you’re up to, and you only need the door shut for like 30 seconds
So don’t cover up, assert dominance
I hope you enjoy 90 teeth and 60 claws homing in on your family jewels.

Was going to argue with you until I realized you aren’t a windmill. I’m sure you get that a lot.
Only a fool would be brave enpugh to fight a windmill
Who needs to masturbate when you’ve got all that pussy?
I wish I could train my cat to walk around on my back on command. Her paw size and weight ratio is so perfect, best back massage ever.
Mine does it regularly, but never when I would want it. Usually the reason is to take a shortcut while chasing the other.
Meanwhile, the cats are thinking…
“If this dude doesn’t move for another day, we’re gonna eat him…”
Find your nearest cat cafe, introduce a ‘business proposal’.
Hot bean massage.
This as a public service. An essential service.
Whenever I do yoga I get a cat climbing on or under me.
Nap + kitties = true happiness
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