It could also be society’s fault for making the kid fearful that their own parents might not be as open as they say they are. That is a reason, but not the parent’s fault.
I have known plenty of people who were afraid to come out to their parents despite the parentss being openly welcoming, and it wasn’t their parent’s fault.
Failure to do something can be as much your fault as if you did something wrong.
In the face of societal oppression good parenting requires positive and engaging action. “I’ll love you no matter what” is warm but scary, while “I’ll assume your non-binary until you come out one way or the other” is a clear message of acceptance.
(My daughter came out as cis, largely because she was annoyed at her parents proactive inclusion.)
Somehow my parents were flabbergasted when my brother came out. All his friends were girls! They hung out at the mall every weekend!
Yeah, clothes shopping. Then he got dolled up and went to a movie with his male “best friend”. How they didn’t see that gay train coming years before, I have no clue. He was the only male cheerleader in the 90s in our city, and he had way more glee than the girls.
The standard rebuttal is thus:
If your kid doesn’t tell you that they are trans, there’s probably a reason and it’s definitely your fault
It could also be society’s fault for making the kid fearful that their own parents might not be as open as they say they are. That is a reason, but not the parent’s fault.
I have known plenty of people who were afraid to come out to their parents despite the parentss being openly welcoming, and it wasn’t their parent’s fault.
Failure to do something can be as much your fault as if you did something wrong.
In the face of societal oppression good parenting requires positive and engaging action. “I’ll love you no matter what” is warm but scary, while “I’ll assume your non-binary until you come out one way or the other” is a clear message of acceptance.
(My daughter came out as cis, largely because she was annoyed at her parents proactive inclusion.)
I think, as a parent, if you don’t have some inkling that your kid is LGBTQ+, you don’t pay very close attention to them
Somehow my parents were flabbergasted when my brother came out. All his friends were girls! They hung out at the mall every weekend!
Yeah, clothes shopping. Then he got dolled up and went to a movie with his male “best friend”. How they didn’t see that gay train coming years before, I have no clue. He was the only male cheerleader in the 90s in our city, and he had way more glee than the girls.