I just finished watching Age of Attraction and I’m pretty sure the moral of the show is that age gap relationships are unethical (that’s what reddit says)
I don’t remember asking for an ethical crisis for my birthday 🙄
What should I do?
Stop listening to other people and listen to your partner because really their opinion is the only one that matters.
If you’re both adults of your full mental facilities, than everyone else can stfu.
All these other shit-for-brains got it wrong. Here’s what you do:
- Find a woman your own age, pervert
- Have her go through EXTENSIVE cosmetic surgery to become a replica of your current wife
- Have newbie secretly follow your wife until she learns every habit, nuance, and personality trait
- I’ll leave the uglier details of this step to your own imagination
- Pretend newbie has been your appropriately aged wife the whole time
- Send us some feet pics of those juicy things you’ve got tucked away in your socks (this step is optional)
What should I do?
Wait until it’s night out, then take a long walk to think about your life. At least an hour or two, really wander around a bit, sit under a tree for a bit (just check for spiders first). Consider yourself as captain of earth, riding this big ball of mud and water and cheese and birds and Roblox across the solar system, which in turn is falling around the edges of the milky way Galaxy, which is falling towards the great attractor chased by the larger Andromeda Galaxy. And beyond that billions of light years of more galaxies and black holes and more muddy dirt balls falling through spacetime. From that cosmic perspective it’s really easy to hear the sea lions and horses barking across the bay as you flour pixies from surreal bakery baskets.
Your best option is to fake your death
Everyone knows that the rule is you take your age subtract 1, then add .5 and that’s who you can date. Anything more than that .5 is grounds for termination. You know what you need to do.
I used to date a woman who’s a month older than me. She used to joke about robbing the cradle. Too bad I’m not as clever as the Futurama writers, or I would’ve insisted instead that I was robbing the grave.
My partner is a week shy of being exactly 5 years older than me, I’m 35, she’s 40. Most of the time we’re basically the same person and that 5 year gap is basically nothing. We were both in pretty comparable stages in our lives when we got together ten years ago, there wasn’t an imbalanced power dynamic from her being older than me.
But sometimes something comes up where that gap falls in just the right spot that something foundational to her childhood I was just too young for and for a brief second she cringes real hard and is just like “God dammit you’re just a baby!”
A 5 year gap isn’t as bad as you get older. But when I was 23 I had an 18 year old girlfriend for a month before I ended things, because she still had the maturity level of a child and it made me feel really gross.
It only lasted so long because I also happened to be her first (this was before my big head overrode my little head). She was the first (and only) virgin I had been with so I didn’t know how to extract myself from the relationship without crushing her.
5 years later I met my wife who’s also 5 years younger, but our life experiences were way more similar.
I was occasionally on the other side of that and really hated it. I’m four years older than my ex, but also came from a more conservative (small c) town. Usually we were at the same stage of life but …… Sometimes that four years was a generation difference, which was very uncomfortable
It’s ok you don’t actually have to do anything. Reddit has already told her to break up with you, file a police report, kill your pets, marry you just to divorce you, and then tell all your friends how horrible you are and that they should never talk to you again.
Panic because if 1 year is an exploit,
Im not saying shit about the age gap between me and my girlfriend.
A lot of well-meaning commenters are missing the obvious solution here: Freeze yourself for one year.
(that’s what reddit says)
If you’re looking to reddit for ethical advice, you’re already beyond help. Sorry.
Yes, obviously.
You need to stop aging for a year so they can catch up
Can I just break up with her til Thursday?
Edit: that’s when she turns 29
Ah, I’m 4 months older than my girlfriend, I guess I need to stop aging for a bit as well.
That’s disgusting. Do you even realize that she wasn’t even born yet when you were 3 months old? Gross…
Lawyer up, delete Facebook, hit the gym
Delete book, gym up the lawyer, hit face.
I’m so used to seeing the joke version of this that I was confused by the traditional version lol
Delete the gym, hit a lawyer, facebook up.
YTA, set her free. She deserves to explore herself and rack up a body count in the triple digits before being owned by a man
You filthy pedophile!
DIVORCE
