[a sign reads FEMINIST CONFERENCE next to a closed door, a blue character shrugs and says…]
I don’t care
[next to the same door, the sign now says RESTRICTED FEMINIST CONFERENCE WOMEN ONLY, there are now four blue characters desperately banging on the door, one is reduced to tears on the floor, they are shouting]
DISCRIMINATION
SO UNFAIR!!!
LET US IINN!!
MISANDRY
Here’s my take on it:
I think we do deserve a private community of only women where women can have a safe place to talk about whatever they want without men. The problem is that this is not a private community, lemmy and piefed are fundamentally public spaces, not private, it is impossible and unreasonable to have a private community.
Perhaps in the future we’ll gain the ability to make real private communities where users must be approved to view posts, but that’s not today.
The mods of the community have the idea that it’s everyone else’s problem, that tens of thousands of people should go out of their way to remedy the issue by blocking the community just so a couple hundred (thousand?) people can have no responsibility for it.
I participated in the community at the beginning of its existence (despite my username, I am not a guy), and have long since left and blocked it because I really hated how the mods treated others. Maybe it’s changed over the last 6 months or whatever, but they’ve left a permanent impression on me.
AFAIK the expectation is that everything there is publicly viewable, but posting is bound by the rules.
And that’s (IMO) within Lemmy’s structure. Mods can set whatever rules for posting that they want, and it isn’t the only community that’s “exclusive”.
As of 1.6 Piefed does support ‘private’ (non-federating) communities that only people with certain assigned roles can invite others to: https://codeberg.org/rimu/pyfedi/releases/tag/v1.6.0
I think it’s kind of wild to expect a community to be open to everyone or not exist at all on the fediverse, along with the idea that this is a huge burden on anyone except the mods of that community who have to clean up the comment section.
One issue with that is visibility. Showing up in an open Fediverse feed is likely how other women discover the community, while a closed one would have more of a “private chat room” kind of structure and feel, right?
I didn’t know that was a feature! In that case, it is reasonable to have a private community, but does WS actually make use of that feature?
Everything else you have said is making strawman out of what I actually said. You’re taking my arguments and pushing them to the very extreme when that is explicitly not what I said or intended.
The first sentence of my comment addresses your second statement. I never said it simply shouldn’t exist, but I said that in the current (at least, my view of the current) state of piefed/lemmy, it’s not possible and not reasonable to have a fully private community.
It’s not a huge burden, you’re right, and I never said it was, but I think it’s important to understand how unfair it is to make many thousands of people undertake an action, regardless of how small it is, just so they don’t accidentally break the community rules and get ridiculed for it.
It’s the mods fault for structuring a community in a way that gives them more work, if they actually used a private community feature or a completely different software that’s intended for this kind of thing, it would be a different story.
Yeah nah mate
Anyone can join. Anyone can read. You’re just asked not to comment because it’s not a space for cismale voices.
I - and you - see HUNDREDS of comms and posts in any random feed that don’t apply to you. You skate over them, don’t even blink. It’s absolutely nbd.
But you need a fucking cone to not post on a single women’s community and it’s some how the community’s fault for expecting you to act like a reasonable human?
Bullshit.
1: I am not cismale, like I’ve said, despite my username, I am not a guy.
2: I try to interact with almost every post I see, I actually do not just “skate over them”, and in my opinion, that’s the expectation for most users of this platform, to interact and not just mindlessly scroll.
3: So when there’s a community that vocally says (THIS GROUP NOT ALLOWED) in the title of every post, you can understand how that might cause someone to feel like shit, like they’ve done something wrong before they’ve ever interacted with the community. Its my belief that the community/mods must take responsibility for this, because the random people didn’t choose to see the community on their feed, there’s no need to be so hostile towards people who never did anything to you.
4: Do not place hate on the hateless. Do place hate upon the hateful. This is my motto, and the way the mods of that community acted firmly violates this principle that I hold dear.
Silly take, if it’s in the rules, and you don’t follow them, that’s on you.
Your feelings, emotions and opinions are irrelevant in such a situation. You don’t get to change the rules simply because you feel attacked because of a rule in a community you are not a part of simply because it happened to show up on your feed.
I have been the guy who commented in one of the Women’s communities. They were very kind and asked me to remove my comment, which I did. Did you have a specific moment that they were super rude to you?
You know you don’t have to interact with every post you see, right?
You can ignore things. In fact you should be. Learning that not everything is for you is an important skill. You are responsible for what you see and interact with on the internet, it is not the job of the content to curate itself to you.
Sure, I don’t have to, that’s why it’s my choice to still engage with people as much as I can. And like I said, I am not cismale, this is not about me, but instead of about the many other people that the community affects.
These people are absolutely not responsible for having something forced upon them suddenly without their consent. How can you think it’s okay to force your ideas and content on others without them giving any permission, and then blame them for getting frustrated?
Maybe it’s changed since the last time I looked at WS, or maybe I’m even misremembering, but every single post has something along the lines of (MEN NOT ALLOWED, PLEASE LEAVE). And looking at the actual content of the posts, everyone is so friendly, from the perspective of a man, can you see how that might be hurtful?
I’ve lived as both a man and… whatever I am now, so I know how lonely men can be, they have minimal support groups, if any at all, and when they need or want to just talk with people, they’re given the cold shoulder or a half-hearted, insincere response. For a man to suddenly see in his feed a vibrant, friendly, even loving community where he specifically isn’t allowed… that hurts.
Nothing is being forced on you. Nothing. Not a single thing. It simply exists.
If you get upset about that, that’s on you
What are you talking about? That’s the entire thing we’ve been talking about this entire time. Then tell me, what do you call it when something is done to you non consensually or unwillingly? Yes, it absolutely is being forced on people because it is being pushed to them without them ever agreeing to it. Every community is like this, but the difference with other comms is that they don’t explicitly call out any single group in every post.
At this point, I’m almost tempted to just say you’re a troll, because I seriously can’t imagine how anyone can be so inconsiderate of how the actions of one can make others feel. I feel like every time, I respond to you with a full and complete argument, yet you always nitpick just one tiny thing about it instead of addressing my argument in good faith.
You are claiming that a community - which you are in no way required to view, interact with and indeed can actively block- hosted on a platform that you are likewise in no way required to view, interact with or use is being forced on you because it shows up when you choose to browse /all
You are having precisely fuck all forced on you. I am not enabling this.