- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
- cross-posted to:
- memes@lemmy.ml
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God: Rise and shine J, you’ll need to move that stone blocking the tomb entrance by holding L2 and focusing your Holy Spirit. Just make sure you have enough meter by collecting those communion crackers.
Jesus Christ: Hope I made it in time for the Easter egg hunt.
You see those red coins? That’s blood money. Collect 30 and I might just have a noose waiting for you.
But if you manage to collect thirty silver coins, you’ll get the chance to see my greatest miracle yet! ^(Use of this miracle triggers a three day cooldown on all of Jesus’ abilities)^
How long until they add mods? I wanna be a Miku Jesus with an AK.
God: Your Old Testament Rage is fully charged! Press L3 + R3 to unleash!
You found: Whip - Press X to use
Jesus: “Wait…can we make that some other button?”
God: It’s only a problem with ye olde englishe, which you don’t canonically speak, J.
The New Testament was written in Koine Greek. Don´t deny Χριστοῦ his whip attack!
As an aside - a GTA-style game of being Jesus would be hilarious.
I wasn’t denying the whip attack my friend, just telling J shouldn’t worry about pressing “cross”
In my mind, reading this, Jesus has the voice of Jeff Fischer from American Dad.
Also Jesus: fucks shit up
Is that Allen coming to stop Jesus the conquerer?
