Transcript
8 panel comic
Panel 1: Yellow guy is working on a laptop in the background. In the foreground is a Brand Manager. Yellow Guy: “Sir, shall I put up our rainbow profile picture?”
Panel 2: Brand Manger snaps his head round and hisses “Cool your jets, Eugene. I’m checking the Profitometer”
Panel 3: Gonna do my best to explain this. We see The Profitometer. A huge machine that whirs and ticks. A digital display at the top of the machine reads “Supporting Pride equals”Beneath this display is a huge gauge with “Max Loss” on the left and “Max profit” on the right. There is a needle that is pointing exactly half way between the two extremes.
Panel 4: Close up on Brand Manager’s face. His teeth are gritted. Sweat trickles down his brow.
Panel 5: Close up on gauge. The needle remains exactly central
Panel 6: Close up on Brand Manager’s eyes. They are concentrating intensely. Also, more sweat.
Panel 7: Close up on the gauge. The needle clicks ONE DEGREE towards profit
Panel 8: Brand Manager screams like a football coach “GO GAY EUGENE”


But it is hilarious to see people break their keurigs, flush their Gillette razors or burn their Nike’s when the do the most milquetoast progressive commercial. I wish we would get more of that