While I’m still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don’t use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it’s three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
What’s your morning routine?
While I’m still asleep an AI-generated orchestra radiates subsonic symphonic movements into my cerebral cortex. I awaken when the symphony reaches a crescendo. I take a coffee-ginseng bath while smart contact lenses display the latest economic data. I don’t use the data for anything because that would degrade the quality of the data as it rewires my brain. Then my muscles are electrically stimulated in my electro-gym machine (a repurposed tanning bed designed by Japanese drug lords). Then my blood vessels are cleansed in a zero-G centrifuge laboratory (blood pumped out and replaced with a cleansing saline solution while the blood is filtered of all impurities and finally returned to my body). Then it’s three hours of wall-climbing while screaming at the top of my lungs.
This is lyrics to a King Missile song, right?
My evening routine consists largely in cleaning my detachable penis and running it through a series of unit tests.
Tell me more about this detachable penis of yours. Where would one… acquire such a tool?
If you already have one, simply detach it. If you don’t have one, simply find a male and ask him to attach his penis to your vagina.
God, please make it real.