Not in person, not in real life, not ‘in my local area and looking to mingle’, no.
I don’t regularly… go to gyms where 55 yo women are, and … I think all of my intimate partners have been within a max of +/- 3 years of my own age.
I’m not trying to nor did I say that all older women are decrepit and ugly.
I’m saying that generally speaking, women (as well as men), kinda tend to let themselves go a bit, as they get older… and honestly there is nothing wrong with that, that is completely normal. Getting old hurts, it makes staying in shape hard… it would be ridiculous to have basically the same general physique expectations for both a 30 yo and a 55 yo woman, or man.
What is very not normal is to actually encounter a 55 yo women in approximately similar physique condition as ~55 yo Selma Hayek or Cate Blanchette.
It is so not normal to me, that I literally didn’t believe it.
Look I don’t know what to tell you… I have no reason to lie about this.
Yeah, in my life, most older people tend to let themselves go.
Yes, most older people I’ve known as friends or family or regular acquaintances or coworkers are somewhat to significantly more fat than they were in their 30s, and yes, by the time they hit 55, many of them also have at least one somewhat to very serious kind of disability.
Maybe I’m just from a poorer millieu than you, where people don’t tend to have the money or time to afford good food and healthcare and spare time to excercise?
I mean, I live in the US. There’s a lack of good food and healthcare and spare time here more than most.
I want to challenge you to take a real look around the next time you’re in like a grocery store or somewhere public. There are a lot of women in their 50s doing just fine and looking great and they’re not celebrities.
Again, finding out fit women in their 50s exist shouldn’t leave you genuinely baffled and in disbelief.
… I’m autistic and thus abnormally aware of patterns and details, basically all the time, everywhere, by default.
What I have described to you as my reality, as my lived experience, is accurate.
To me, a 55 yo woman in … yeah, basically as good of shape as a world famous celebrity actress? EDIT: (of similar age)
Exceptionally uncommon.
About the same level of exceptionally uncommon as a random 55 yo man being in the same shape / physique as say, Liam Neeson or maybe Daniel Craig or Idris Elba.
Can you really just not accept that another person’s lived experience could… significantly differ from your own?
Just being on FetLife will show you plenty of women in their 50s in pretty good shape.
I don’t understand why you believe that women like this don’t exist other than celebrities (which was like pulling teeth to get you to admit, I might add). I’m aware that most of society believes that older women are useless and thus invisible to the male gaze, but Jesus Christ, dude - is it really true to this extent for you?
Edit: Kisses to my stalker today, thanks for the downvotes! I love that you take the time to dutifully go through my post history and downvote each comment. Shows you really love me <3
You seem to be deliberately missing the part where I said ‘in my local area’.
In my local area… no, so far in my experience using fetlife, you are wrong.
The woman I am talking about is absolutely exceptional in terms of physique, compared to her peers in the same area, I have yet to see anyone comparable… though of course, again as I previously said… I’ve only just started using the site.
Sure, if I look … across everyone on the entire site, everywhere, then yes, I will most likely see more 55 yo women who have great physiques.
But I don’t live in New York or LA or Paris or something.
I live in a ‘city’ with a population significantly under 500k, and its a poorer city, in a poorer state.
You are the one who decided that what I originally said and meant was ‘no 55 yo women exist who have exceptional physiques’. You interpreted it that way, ignoring pertinent context and then explicit statements from myself where I made every attempt to explain that no that is not what I meant…
… and you are trying to spin this as extracting a confession from me.
This is bad faith in the extreme.
I also never said that most older women are invisible to me. I talk to a fair number of older women in my apartment… somewhat regularly, when we pass in the halls or what not. I enjoy their conversation, occasionally I help them out with some kind of chore type task, they help me out with some kind of chore… I just am not generally sexually attracted to them.
I explictly said that it would be ridiculous to have the same physical expectations for a 30 yo and 55 yo woman, yet you persist in insulting me and painting me as a misogynist who thinks all old women are ugly.
Also, I’m not the one downvoting you. Somebody else is doing that. You could verify this if you wanted to, I believe there are tools by which possible to do that on lemmy, or you could ping a mod or admin if you really want, i think they could as well.
I hope you do not consider it ‘stalking’ to reply to a conversation chain that you started and are continuing.
People can be ‘not in 100% agreement with you’ and not be a stalker-misogynist.
The other thing at play here is that … I was genuinely baffled, in disbelief.
I literally have never seen a 55 yo woman in as good of shape as she is, she’s in better shape than most women I’ve known who actually are in the age bracket I thought she was in.
I’m responding to the assertion that a 55 year old woman in shape is enough to leave someone baffled and in disbelief because they’ve literally never seen a 55yo woman in as good of shape
I’m not saying every 55yo woman looks like Salma Hayek, but by existing they are disproving this original comment.
It’s funny, because you can just go to the gym and meet people who are both old and in shape. In fact, you’re more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because… older people who are in shape are the ones who go to the gym in the first place.
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym. Idk. Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work. “Captive audience” type shit, it would feel gross to me.
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym.
I mean, more power to you. I’m mostly just saying “Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country.” I’m not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
That said, I can say from personal experience that people flirting with each other at the gym is incredibly common. I’ve flirted. I’ve been flirted. I even dated a Pilates instructor that I met there.
Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work.
Lot of flirting happens in offices, too.
“Captive audience” type shit
You meet people where you both are. But there’s a tactful way to approach people and a crass way. Don’t go running up to grab someone by the pussy. But smiles and small talk don’t hold anyone hostage.
I mean, more power to you. I’m mostly just saying “Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country.” I’m not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
Yeah, I have to wonder if people who assert that it’s shocking to find a woman over 50 who is in shape and attractive actually ever leave their houses.
You’ve literally never seen a 55 year old woman in shape? I don’t believe you.
Look up a list of celebrity women who are currently 55 years old.
This idea that women are decrepit and ugly and old at 55 is asinine.
Edit: Y’all really going to believe that women like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett don’t exist?
Not in person, not in real life, not ‘in my local area and looking to mingle’, no.
I don’t regularly… go to gyms where 55 yo women are, and … I think all of my intimate partners have been within a max of +/- 3 years of my own age.
I’m not trying to nor did I say that all older women are decrepit and ugly.
I’m saying that generally speaking, women (as well as men), kinda tend to let themselves go a bit, as they get older… and honestly there is nothing wrong with that, that is completely normal. Getting old hurts, it makes staying in shape hard… it would be ridiculous to have basically the same general physique expectations for both a 30 yo and a 55 yo woman, or man.
What is very not normal is to actually encounter a 55 yo women in approximately similar physique condition as ~55 yo Selma Hayek or Cate Blanchette.
It is so not normal to me, that I literally didn’t believe it.
The internet and celebrities != real life.
55 years old isn’t really that old though.
You don’t notice women in their 50s in your day to day life at all? They’re all fat or otherwise disabled?
Like no, this is still mind blowing to me that a single 55 year old woman in shape left you “genuinely baffled and in disbelief”
Look I don’t know what to tell you… I have no reason to lie about this.
Yeah, in my life, most older people tend to let themselves go.
Yes, most older people I’ve known as friends or family or regular acquaintances or coworkers are somewhat to significantly more fat than they were in their 30s, and yes, by the time they hit 55, many of them also have at least one somewhat to very serious kind of disability.
Maybe I’m just from a poorer millieu than you, where people don’t tend to have the money or time to afford good food and healthcare and spare time to excercise?
I mean, I live in the US. There’s a lack of good food and healthcare and spare time here more than most.
I want to challenge you to take a real look around the next time you’re in like a grocery store or somewhere public. There are a lot of women in their 50s doing just fine and looking great and they’re not celebrities.
Again, finding out fit women in their 50s exist shouldn’t leave you genuinely baffled and in disbelief.
… I’m autistic and thus abnormally aware of patterns and details, basically all the time, everywhere, by default.
What I have described to you as my reality, as my lived experience, is accurate.
To me, a 55 yo woman in … yeah, basically as good of shape as a world famous celebrity actress? EDIT: (of similar age)
Exceptionally uncommon.
About the same level of exceptionally uncommon as a random 55 yo man being in the same shape / physique as say, Liam Neeson or maybe Daniel Craig or Idris Elba.
Can you really just not accept that another person’s lived experience could… significantly differ from your own?
Just being on FetLife will show you plenty of women in their 50s in pretty good shape.
I don’t understand why you believe that women like this don’t exist other than celebrities (which was like pulling teeth to get you to admit, I might add). I’m aware that most of society believes that older women are useless and thus invisible to the male gaze, but Jesus Christ, dude - is it really true to this extent for you?
Edit: Kisses to my stalker today, thanks for the downvotes! I love that you take the time to dutifully go through my post history and downvote each comment. Shows you really love me <3
You seem to be deliberately missing the part where I said ‘in my local area’.
In my local area… no, so far in my experience using fetlife, you are wrong.
The woman I am talking about is absolutely exceptional in terms of physique, compared to her peers in the same area, I have yet to see anyone comparable… though of course, again as I previously said… I’ve only just started using the site.
Sure, if I look … across everyone on the entire site, everywhere, then yes, I will most likely see more 55 yo women who have great physiques.
But I don’t live in New York or LA or Paris or something.
I live in a ‘city’ with a population significantly under 500k, and its a poorer city, in a poorer state.
You are the one who decided that what I originally said and meant was ‘no 55 yo women exist who have exceptional physiques’. You interpreted it that way, ignoring pertinent context and then explicit statements from myself where I made every attempt to explain that no that is not what I meant…
… and you are trying to spin this as extracting a confession from me.
This is bad faith in the extreme.
I also never said that most older women are invisible to me. I talk to a fair number of older women in my apartment… somewhat regularly, when we pass in the halls or what not. I enjoy their conversation, occasionally I help them out with some kind of chore type task, they help me out with some kind of chore… I just am not generally sexually attracted to them.
I explictly said that it would be ridiculous to have the same physical expectations for a 30 yo and 55 yo woman, yet you persist in insulting me and painting me as a misogynist who thinks all old women are ugly.
Also, I’m not the one downvoting you. Somebody else is doing that. You could verify this if you wanted to, I believe there are tools by which possible to do that on lemmy, or you could ping a mod or admin if you really want, i think they could as well.
I hope you do not consider it ‘stalking’ to reply to a conversation chain that you started and are continuing.
People can be ‘not in 100% agreement with you’ and not be a stalker-misogynist.
I wasn’t calling you a stalker-misogynist unless you’re the one downvoting every single comment I make.
I live in a city that isn’t even at 250k population and see plenty of regular women over 55 that are fit.
I simply don’t believe you that out of hundreds of thousands of people, there’s no middle aged women that are fit in your city. It’s not believable.
honestly it’s more disingenuous and sexist to pretend that every 55 year old woman looks like Salma Hayek and Cate Blanchett, velma
I’m responding to the assertion that a 55 year old woman in shape is enough to leave someone baffled and in disbelief because they’ve literally never seen a 55yo woman in as good of shape
I’m not saying every 55yo woman looks like Salma Hayek, but by existing they are disproving this original comment.
It’s funny, because you can just go to the gym and meet people who are both old and in shape. In fact, you’re more likely to meet people who are both old and in shape at the gym because… older people who are in shape are the ones who go to the gym in the first place.
I’m not single
or 55
but if I were single at any age, I would never approach a woman at a gym. Idk. Feels only a small step better than approaching them at work. “Captive audience” type shit, it would feel gross to me.
I mean, more power to you. I’m mostly just saying “Women over 55 who are fit exist, you can find them at gyms all over the country.” I’m not suggesting you need to hit on any of them.
That said, I can say from personal experience that people flirting with each other at the gym is incredibly common. I’ve flirted. I’ve been flirted. I even dated a Pilates instructor that I met there.
Lot of flirting happens in offices, too.
You meet people where you both are. But there’s a tactful way to approach people and a crass way. Don’t go running up to grab someone by the pussy. But smiles and small talk don’t hold anyone hostage.
Almost no one wants “smiles and small talk” at their job. It’s not just about what I want lol. But that’s why I’m not single.
I’ve had very different experiences.
They’re not talking about approaching women at the gym.
They’re talking about observing women that are over 55 and in shape. Because they exist. Despite popular belief.
The other user said it to you, too.
Meeting people doesn’t mean you’re approaching them to flirt.
The argument is whether fit women over 55+ exist. They do.
It’s not necessarily even about your intention, it’s about leaving people alone when they probably want to be left alone.
You’re completely missing the point.
No one is telling you to approach these women at the gym. Just notice that they exist.
Exactly.
Literally one can go to the grocery store and find a woman who is over 50 and in shape. I would bet money.
I mean, fit people still shop. It’s just going to be much more of a crap shoot.
Yeah, I have to wonder if people who assert that it’s shocking to find a woman over 50 who is in shape and attractive actually ever leave their houses.