• velma@sh.itjust.works
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    8 hours ago

    It was a conversation starter about the gendered language. I wasn’t accusing OP of anything nor demonizing them for it though.

    • chortle_tortle@mander.xyz
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      5 hours ago

      I wasn’t accusing OP of anything

      I am. I didn’t read the title before popping into the post and only realized it after you posted it. I assumed it was generally about communication, but OP made the choice of not only gendering the conversation, but infantilizing the “strawgirl” in their head with it.

      It’s especially rich because if there a gender that struggles with communicating their needs and desires it’s overwhelmingly, empirically, men. Any projection of “mind reading” is likely because they lack the emotional intelligence to comprehend something that’s been told to them multiple times to the point of the partner going non-verbal when it happens again.

    • FishFace@piefed.social
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      7 hours ago

      OK. For the record I couldn’t tell whether you were actually talking about gendered language or something I was missing. I do also think when you purposefully say very little, inevitably people will make assumptions about what you “really meant” whether that’s justified or not. Which I appreciate is annoying.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        7 hours ago

        I wasn’t sure myself why the title was gendered the way it was in relation the image. I still haven’t figured out the connection there amongst all the accusations of misandry being thrown at me.

        Thanks.

        • FishFace@piefed.social
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          5 hours ago

          If I had to guess (lots of guessing) it’s like supposed to be a light-hearted expression like “big girl pants”

            • FishFace@piefed.social
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              3 hours ago

              All the times I have heard it said, which is not that many, yes. It was said in a light-hearted and, dare I say, kind way :)

              • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                2 hours ago

                The times it’s been said to me have been condescending and meant to shame.

                For the record, telling a grown woman to “use her big girl words” or put on her “big girl pants” is incredibly rude.

                • FishFace@piefed.social
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                  2 hours ago

                  That sounds unpleasant.

                  I’ve mainly heard said by a person about herself, or from one woman to another, often as a way to make a joke of the sort that implied that they thought whatever task it was (that required the big girl pants) was big and difficult while acknowledging that it actually is not, e.g. “I put on my big girl pants and rang the council to tell them I need a new recycling bin”

                  • velma@sh.itjust.works
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                    2 hours ago

                    There’s a difference depending on who it is coming from. Another woman using the word “bitch” for example is different than a man calling a woman a “bitch”.

                    When a man is telling a woman to use her “big girl words”, it is problematic. This meme is not showing that it is being used in a light-hearted way. This is punching down.