Blame parents, forgive parents, realize you now control your future, realize youve controlled your actions and future the entire time, forgive yourself.
Most people are hovering step 1 and 2, or skip over step 2
Without going through steps 1 and 2 it’s impossible to get to steps 3, 4, and 5 without feeling gaslit and invalidated just like you always were growing up, which can rehash and reinforce the trauma, perpetuating the cycle.
That’s what society in general, and people who had healthy parents, don’t understand. They want us all to skip to the end of the process, ignoring the fact that not everyone was so fortunate to be raised by emotionally intelligent people.
A very basic understanding of developmental psychology is all it takes to see how significantly the influences of one’s formative years can impact their social and emotional development long into adulthood.
I just wanted to add that it’s still incredibly painful after these steps, therapy ain’t over then. Still worth it though. Be kind to your inner child, especially if they’re still crying inside.
My parents did a lot to model being smart with money and only one of their kids (me) picked up on it. Kids often love being the opposite of what they’re taught, no matter how much it hurts them.
The thing about people who buy NFTs is that they think they are being smart with their money.
They look at what happened with Apple, Microsoft, Google stocks way back in the day and think “huhuhu, I’m not going to be one of those idiots who misses out on an opportunity like that!”
It’s FOMO and “high risk - high reward” gambler mentality, wrapped up in the illusion of being a savvy investor.
Sure, that’s true. I think in mine and many cases, wrapped up in the “being smart with money” lesson is saving, mitigating risk, and decreasing spending where possible. I at least hope most parents (who bother at all) are defining what being smart actually looks like.
I was raised pretty middle-upper class. Only child. My dad made 6 figures. I had a lot of privilege growing up and I knew I did. I was well informed on family finances, investments, etc. We were also frugal(ish) in spending. We went camping every year which I loved, but very few things like vacations, new cars, etc. We had a modest house in a small town. My parents would always just have a shit ton of money saved in savings accounts or investments.
Fast forward to today, they helped my partner and I buy a small farm halfway across the country. We’re a single income house (my partner has disabilities that prevents them from working). We live paycheque to paycheque because we like spending money. Local farmers market, buying things for the farm, and I get a little money spendy because my parents never really did that. I learned all the tips and tricks growing up and once let loose I didn’t really care. Never did.
We’re financially okay. We have debt like everyone else, but it’s manageable. But we don’t save anything. We’re trying to now this past year but it’s slow because I work in town and my partner will want me to pick up this thing from Canadian Tire, or this from Home Hardware, and always needing new things, or upgrading things on the century old house and homestead.
Basically, I was raised with money and my parents didn’t spend a lot of it. They’re very well off now. I do the opposite. I don’t really care much about the future, as hopefully we can break even on the farm. But we are trying to live more in the now than my parents ever did. Financially, I am very different from my parents.
Well, who raised that idiot?
At some point you have to take responsibility for yourself. You cant just blame every failing on your parents.
You can blame some though, like a failing in critical thinking is a failing of how a person was raised.
Continuing to fail is on you, though.
Well yes of course
Its the first step in therapy.
Blame parents, forgive parents, realize you now control your future, realize youve controlled your actions and future the entire time, forgive yourself.
Most people are hovering step 1 and 2, or skip over step 2
Without going through steps 1 and 2 it’s impossible to get to steps 3, 4, and 5 without feeling gaslit and invalidated just like you always were growing up, which can rehash and reinforce the trauma, perpetuating the cycle.
That’s what society in general, and people who had healthy parents, don’t understand. They want us all to skip to the end of the process, ignoring the fact that not everyone was so fortunate to be raised by emotionally intelligent people.
A very basic understanding of developmental psychology is all it takes to see how significantly the influences of one’s formative years can impact their social and emotional development long into adulthood.
I just wanted to add that it’s still incredibly painful after these steps, therapy ain’t over then. Still worth it though. Be kind to your inner child, especially if they’re still crying inside.
My parents did a lot to model being smart with money and only one of their kids (me) picked up on it. Kids often love being the opposite of what they’re taught, no matter how much it hurts them.
The thing about people who buy NFTs is that they think they are being smart with their money.
They look at what happened with Apple, Microsoft, Google stocks way back in the day and think “huhuhu, I’m not going to be one of those idiots who misses out on an opportunity like that!”
It’s FOMO and “high risk - high reward” gambler mentality, wrapped up in the illusion of being a savvy investor.
Sure, that’s true. I think in mine and many cases, wrapped up in the “being smart with money” lesson is saving, mitigating risk, and decreasing spending where possible. I at least hope most parents (who bother at all) are defining what being smart actually looks like.
I was raised pretty middle-upper class. Only child. My dad made 6 figures. I had a lot of privilege growing up and I knew I did. I was well informed on family finances, investments, etc. We were also frugal(ish) in spending. We went camping every year which I loved, but very few things like vacations, new cars, etc. We had a modest house in a small town. My parents would always just have a shit ton of money saved in savings accounts or investments.
Fast forward to today, they helped my partner and I buy a small farm halfway across the country. We’re a single income house (my partner has disabilities that prevents them from working). We live paycheque to paycheque because we like spending money. Local farmers market, buying things for the farm, and I get a little money spendy because my parents never really did that. I learned all the tips and tricks growing up and once let loose I didn’t really care. Never did.
We’re financially okay. We have debt like everyone else, but it’s manageable. But we don’t save anything. We’re trying to now this past year but it’s slow because I work in town and my partner will want me to pick up this thing from Canadian Tire, or this from Home Hardware, and always needing new things, or upgrading things on the century old house and homestead.
Basically, I was raised with money and my parents didn’t spend a lot of it. They’re very well off now. I do the opposite. I don’t really care much about the future, as hopefully we can break even on the farm. But we are trying to live more in the now than my parents ever did. Financially, I am very different from my parents.
You can only do so much while the pre-frontal cortex is still developing.
Sometimes no matter how much parents try their kid will still end a dumbass.
His stepdad, of course.