Ritalin Invitees (@intransitivelie@beige.party)
beige.party
I regret to inform everyone that my copy of QBittorrent escaped its sandbox last night and downloaded a whole bunch of content owned by major corporations, and then my copy of Jellyfin broke containment and added those unfortunately-downloaded media files to its various libraries. I'm conducting an internal investigation to figure out how this happened, which will involve consuming these media files until the answers become apparent. Thank you for your cooperation during this trying time.

I regret to inform everyone that my copy of QBittorrent escaped its sandbox last night and downloaded a whole bunch of content owned by major corporations, and then my copy of Jellyfin broke containment and added those unfortunately-downloaded media files to its various libraries. I’m conducting an internal investigation to figure out how this happened, which will involve consuming these media files until the answers become apparent. Thank you for your cooperation during this trying time.

  • technocrit@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
    5·
    15時間前

    As long as it doesn’t hack my Kodai. This super intelligent being has been faithfully serving me the best music, videos, and games. I’m so grateful for my best and smartest friend. \s

  • stevles@aussie.zoneEnglish
    30·
    1日前

    I know it’s satire, but this is more or less the same shit corpos use to bail themselves out.

  • printf("%s", name);@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
    40·
    1日前

    Great incident response! Don’t forget, you’re not alone! Have you considered using any other resources? For instance, a bag of potato chips can greatly improve efficiency during the intital analysis of the media. If you have the funds, a bottle of beer can sometimes sharpen one’s analytic faculties, I hear.

    • themachinestops@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
      4·
      16時間前

      Dear akunophana,

      Hope you are well,

      I would like to add that popcorn is essential to the incident response process. Neglecting it could cause unmitigated damage to the investigation.

      Sincerely

      • printf("%s", name);@piefed.blahaj.zoneEnglish
        4·
        15時間前

        Dear themachinestops

        I have received Your message and I must say, it is an honor to have one’s ideas be given this much thought and deliberation!

        I have reviewed Your claims regarding puffed corn kernels. While I do see the initial benefits that they bring to the investigation, such as approaching the matter from a greater variety of angles, I must respectfully voice my protest against incorporating these “popcorns” into the process at hand. The main reason being that there simply is no way to efficiently interface each and every popcorn with the condiments - such as hot holiday dip sauce - without which I do not see how the media in question could be analyzed, let alone consumed for recreation if that was ever the purpose.

        Let us keep an open line of communication!

        Sincerely

        • themachinestops@lemmy.dbzer0.comEnglish
          5·
          15時間前

          Dear Akunohana,

          Thank you for the prompt response,

          These types of investigations typically takes time and resources to complete, thus it involves a variety of tool sets. I believe that even if there is no way to interfere the popcorns with the condiments that the popcorn will be required at a later time. Hypothetically after completing the investigation partially using the chips and the dip, the forensic Investigator would need a new tool for the remainder of the incident investigation that is were the popcorn comes in. Additionally if the investigation requires additional hands, the popcorn would be indispensable.

          Kind Regards.