• Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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    22 days ago

    Some people legitimately just aren’t into trans people though. I’m not like that, but some people just aren’t attracted for one reason or another. Not all trans people pass, and some trans people don’t exhibit their gender in a way someone else would like.

    Honestly the whole thing is frustrating because we’re trying to put people in a box because that how humans operate, while our attraction doesn’t.

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
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      22 days ago

      Not all trans people pass, and some trans people don’t exhibit their gender in a way someone else would like.

      Some do pass. How would those people who think they aren’t attracted to trans people even know until clothes come off? And even then, they might not be able to tell if a person is trans, cis, or intersex.

      It’s like when people say they aren’t attracted to bisexual men. It’s personal preference rooted in bigotry, even if they’re not conscious of it.

      • Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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        22 days ago

        Because the only trans people they personally know are ones they aren’t attracted to?

        The second paragraph is ridiculous. There’s more to a person’s sexuality than just sex. We’re human beings, everything runs together.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          22 days ago

          Because the only trans people they personally know are ones they aren’t attracted to?

          That doesn’t mean they won’t be attracted to any and all trans people.

          There’s nothing different about a bisexual man and a straight man when it comes to dating. If someone doesn’t like bisexual men because bisexual men are also attracted to men, that is a preference rooted in homophobia.

          • Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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            22 days ago

            It also doesn’t mean they will be either. You aren’t the only person in the world.

            Yeah, because gay and straight people totally always have the same culture and behavior right? I don’t know what weird world you live in, but here in reality both our brains and our environment shape our personality. If your brain has an attraction to one or multiple kinds of people in absolutely will affect other parts of the brain. In your reality it seems like we’re all just a checklist of traits that don’t interact.

            • velma@sh.itjust.works
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              22 days ago

              You aren’t the only person in the world.

              I’m not trans, but ok.

              It also doesn’t mean they will be either.

              That’s the point. They don’t know either. So to assume that every single trans person is not attractive to them is an assumption based in bigotry.

              Yeah, because gay and straight people totally always have the same culture and behavior right?

              They can overlap a lot depending on the person.

    • Melmi@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      22 days ago

      That has nothing to do with being bisexual or not though. I might not be into bodybuilders “exhibiting their masculinity” by being absurdly jacked, but that doesn’t make me not bisexual. I’m just not attracted to that particular gender presentation.

      I think when people say “I’m not attracted to trans people” they have a particular idea of a trans person in their head, but plenty of trans people pass and some go “stealth”. “We can always tell” is patently false. I suppose I can imagine a person who is so caught up in gender who would be turned off if they found out someone is trans, but I find it difficult to imagine anyone not asexual who wouldn’t find some trans person initially attractive, at least post-op.

      I agree with your last point though. At this point I’ve mostly given up on pansexual/bisexual and just call myself queer.

      • velma@sh.itjust.works
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        22 days ago

        At this point I’ve mostly given up on pansexual/bisexual and just call myself queer.

        I really like that the LGBT+ community has rallied around reclaiming the word “queer”.

      • Redditmodstouchgrass@lemmy.zip
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        22 days ago

        Did I say people can always tell? I don’t think it’s fair to say that you’re attracted to trans people in general if your just looking at one with fundamentally no obvious differences from a cis person at first glance.

        I think our disagreement here is that you’re assuming all trans people want to be seen as the same as a cis person of that gender, right? Well, I know personally and online that some trans folks like being seen as “their own thing”. I don’t think it’s really fair to lump all trans people in a box and say that’s that. I’m sure I fall into that trap at points because humans like putting things into specific categories, but I’m more in favor of seeing the spectrum as just that, a spectrum.

        I’m coming at this from the perspective that someone attracted to a passing trans person is basically just attracted to that gender and someone attracted to a (more or less) non passing trans male for example might be more into women who exhibit more masculine traits.

        Apologies if this doesn’t make sense at first glance. I wrote this down as more of a stream of consciousness than a thesis.