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My husband messaged me on OKC with something along the lines of,“hey this is probably just gonna sound crazy but were we stuck in the psych hospital together about a year ago?”
Yes. Yes we were. And I was a little bummed I hadn’t gotten his number. That was five years ago and we just celebrated our first wedding anniversary. Fucker is still batshit crazy, but so am I.
Instructions unclear, went insane
That’s where I met my wife! She had electro-swing in her Bio, and we’ve been together ever since!
This was my approach and a woman did actually magically appear in my life in 2010. It was on a forum. I DMed a person, whose gender I did not know, that I liked their writing and it snowballed from there. She’s been my wife for 12 years now.
You still reached outside of your circle, in your way, and it turned out great.
Moral of the story: the world ends with you.
I like your writing chunes
People don’t seem to talk in public as much anymore. If people are at the bus stop, they’re on their phone or waiting quietly.
Same at the grocery store. This will sound old as hell but I hate it when the grocery store rearranges the soups. Takes me forever to find what I’m looking for. Sometimes I’ll see someone else in front of the soups, looking up and down, looking frustrated. I’ll say something like “yeah i hate it when they move the soups too.” And I’ll usually get a smile or some similar comment back.
I guess what I’m trying to say is don’t be afraid to comment about some shared experience you’re having with people in public.
Ive become exceptionally familiar with the baking aisle as my wife loves to bake, but will regularly not have everything (or not enough), and she usually realizes it after she starts. So its a time measured event to get what she needs.
Holiday season is always so funny for me because everyone’s searching up and down in that aisle just completely lost. I usually will just eves drop when people mutter to themselves, or say something to their kid and tell them where it is. Odd, boredline creepy? Sure. Most people appreciate it though. Others look at me like they wish i had never been born.
I talk to people. If you are on an app on your phone, I’ll interupt you to compliment you on your shoes or something (assuming a compliment is warranted). Sometimes I get to chat for a minute or two, but worst case scenario I get a thank you and a smile.
Maybe people will remember me as a creeper, or maybe they’ll have a better day because they chatted and got a compliment. No matter what, I got to exist in that person’s life. I wasn’t invisible.
I still remember the guy who commented on my watch at the soap isle and then we had a whole ass conversation about them. Kind of awkward start because my brain wasn’t ready for that but it was a nice experience all in all.
This is the result of handing dating life off to the capitalist class that uses it to enrich itself. Go to a neighborhood potluck or volunteer somewhere to meet people without prejudice. If it doesn’t land you a date then at least you’ll have fun or do something good.
I don’t see how this advice would help the OOP at all.
Happy cake day!
Joining local, small scale gatherings without the explicit goal of getting a date does a few things. For one it makes you more sociable which will help you be attractive in the long run. For another it helps you meet people. For a third, you’ll have fun doing it. All those things develop you as a person which in the long run improve your odds of happiness, and it’s much easier to date a happy, well developed, sociable person than a miserable incel. And you’ll do it without Silicon Valley’s perverse incentives!
My point isn’t that the advice you gave was incorrect; it’s that the person in the meme explicitly would not follow it. The entire joke is that they will never do what is necessary to get a relationship. It doesn’t matter that it’s a sound dating strategy; you’re missing the point.
The meme probably just ironic, but giving such tone deaf advice in a more realistic scenario would definitely come across as condescending. People with genuine issues usually know what they need to do; it’s just that they can’t bring themselves to do it. Telling them what they already know will make them feel bad and won’t make them more likely to act.
Same advice works for making friends as an adult.
Spoiler Alert
It’s exactly how you make friends. Don’t go out looking for a spouse, that’s off putting. Make friends first and see where that leads. Worst case is you end up with a friend group, which is an attractive quality by itself.
Need to get the women who do this too and the men in a room together.
assumed heterosexuality and gender binary? :<
how about we just put all the people in rooms together with other people wo might find them attractive based on their stated types or just a buncha ppl in general?
The room is silent for an hour and everybody goes home.
Oh my God. 🤣
That or subtle flirting and waiting for someone to make the first move. Never happens because they were just “being nice”
deleted by creator
kinda unfortunately yeah.
swipes suck cuz one judges people based on images and text, bars and partys suck because, cold approach feels so weird, and asking the one woman thats already feels somewhat close feels odd
Real talk though: the whole process fucking sucks.
People want to find someone, but there are bullshit societal conventions, it takes a shit load of courage and rejection, don’t want to make anyone else uncomfortable/feel harassed; and how do you even find a good match? If anything happens to my marriage, then I have no interest in jumping into this process. A friend has been going through this for years including a bad breakup recently after a short relationship… I got nothing to offer to make it better 🤷♂️
Edit: even worse when you meet someone who is good at this process. “Just act natural, take it easy. It’s about body language. You get a feel for who is interested and it’s just about being confident”… Ok, black magic, gotcha.
This meme was posted pretty recently.
Dating apps are pretty bad. They’re not optimized for your happiness. They want your money. But they can get you dates, and some of those dates can be good. I’m a pretty average guy who doesn’t date men, and I could get a few dates a month by writing real messages and honestly engaging with people. Some of them were really good.
But no matter what your strategy is, it’s going to have a big “garbage in -> garbage out” factor. I’ve had friends who half-ass the apps, and then wonder why they don’t have good outcomes. I don’t mean paying- never pay for this shit. I mean actually reading the profile and, if there’s something you can engage with, actually write something. Yeah, it’s work, and most of the time it goes into the void. But just looking at it for 20 minutes and writing nothing deeper than “lol” and “hey” is counter productive. It’s like going to the gym and just looking at your phone. You’re not going to get fit like that. You’re just going to feel bad about yourself.
It’s fine to be like “i don’t have the energy for this” and spend your time doing something else. And it’s fine to take it seriously, write good messages, be present, be genuine. But half-assing it is the worst. Half-assing it sucks for you, and everyone you engage with.
This but unironically, I would meet the wrong kind of people through those old-school approaches anyways.
This is exactly my issue. I don’t drink anymore and I don’t party so anyone I met at a bar would be totally different than me and we’d more that likely not even be into each other at all, all my friends moved away anyway so there’s no party to go to annnnnd I’m already 40 now lol. While I’m not the ugliest person on earth, in photos I turn into Smeagol so online dating is completely out of the question. I wasted 10 years destroying my self worth using those sites. In 10 years I had 5 dates…
Yearn it is! Lol
Same advice, but in a place that does share your interests. A library, or a board game store.
I would be at least equally as interested in a woman I met in a bar as someone who I met trying to borrow a copy of The Lesser Key of Solomon, or someone who absolutely destroyed me in a Warhammer match with her army of candy-pink Tyranids.
He has pretty eyes and a non boring face. I’d ask him out at the grocery store if he didn’t have a ring.
Dating apps are a privacy hellscape. I dread the idea of accidentally making anyone uncomfortable with a cold approach. And my early relationships left me with enough trauma for a while.
Still yearn sometimes, but I’m content with just having friends for now.
This is why I’m switching to people born with wieners.
Just kidding. I’m dying alone
I went offgrid in 2020 and haven’t dated since. Do not miss it one bit. Life is peaceful in the forest.
i’m in this picture and i fumbled it
Sounds like you’re just making excuses for your asexuality.
Entirely backwards- asexual people don’t need to make excuses for it. But someone who’s forever alone with an attitude like the character in the meme is likely to pretend they’re asexual. Simpler that way. No one will challenge it because asexuality is something they don’t understand enough to argue about, beyond a vague notion it would come off as insensitive if they tried.
If they’re lucky. Or it’s crippling social anxiety.
Well not necessarily, CPTSD also works.
Hey quick question does it count as being asexual if you masturbate? Like, so much masturbation.
Asking for a friend.
Don’t worry you will be in good company
Maybe… If you feel attracted to a daydream scenario then maybe not.
Till my partner is a witch
