As someone that grew up with detached parents with whom I never had the relationship I wanted, I’ve come to recognize that it will never happen. My mother is now dead, and like my father, she lacked the capacity to engage in healthy relationships. The monologue in the “Free Churro” episode (S5E6) of Bojack Horseman really hits home for me, this point in particular:
I have this friend. And right around when I first met her, her dad died, and I actually went with her to the funeral. And months later, she told me that she didn’t understand why she was still upset, because she never even liked her father. It made sense to me, because I went through the same thing when my dad died. And I’m going through the same thing now. You know what it’s like? It’s like that show Becker, you know, with Ted Danson? I watched the entire run of that show, hoping that it would get better, and it never did. It had all the right pieces, but it just—it couldn’t put them together. And when it got canceled, I was really bummed out, not because I liked the show, but because I knew it could be so much better, and now it never would be. And that’s what losing a parent is like. It’s like Becker.
For anyone else in the same position, recognize that it is exceptionally difficult for people to change, and a necessary prerequisite is that they see change as necessary and want to change. Most are afraid of change and will never do it, to their detriment.
I slept on that show for a long time. I thought it was going to be a dumb, raunchy, adult cartoon and I was so wrong about it. Some of those episodes are real gut punches.
This one in particular didn’t hit me in the way it did you, but it still felt like a truth of some kind.
There’s a chance that media like this will get him to think, even if he initially rejects the idea.
Might be a very slim chance, though.
Media literacy is surprisingly low. Just look at how many people think Star Trek is conservative 🤦♂️
“Whoa. When the hell did Rage Against the Machine become so political?!”
“When did Star Wars get so woke, and therefore broke???”
If fucking only it went broke. They’ve produced like 3 hits, 8 misses. Their budgets are a billion dollars each, how can they so consistently create garbage with a billion dollars? It’s utterly baffling. And it isn’t even entertaining garbage. I enjoyed birdemic and the like. It’s just boring, disjointed, anxiety-inducing, and dumb.
Oh god that’s genuinely tragic.
Sorry OP, your dad sucks, move on sooner than later is my advice, please don’t ask about where this advice comes from.
(Yes I know the OP here on lemmy probably is not that actual original OP, but ya’ll know what I mean.)
In time youll become stronger from their absence in your life. Remember, god is dead and we killed him. We always kill god.
… and some day youll kill the image of your father being a small god, an entity for whose love and approval youll strive.
This killed me, the absolute fucking bluntness lmao
