I would prefer to find an operating system I can support that is developed by people who are generally kind, however I find the behavior of many of the top Linux/*BSD devs to be… abhorrent.
Are there any real alternatives that are led by nicer people?
Humans are generally quite awful & even the kindest nicest people are terrible sometimes. Put together hundreds of humans & It’s guaranteed some of them will be awful+ & drama is guaranteed even if everyone is above average nice, so no there is no such usable operating system.