I grant you the rank of honorary Gen Xer.

Samesies

To add to Wolf’s really well thought out and written post, as kids a ringing phone was something you were expected to answer. Voice mail and caller ID were common by 2000 to the point of being essentially everywhere, but not everybody had it before then and that meant that if the phone rang, you HAD to pick it up. The only way to avoid it was to not be home.

Then when cell phones happened, as Wolf already said, Millennials had them so parents could keep track of you even when you weren’t at home and calls were pricey enough that they were really for emergencies only, not for talking with friends, so they were just another leash for helicopter parents to control their kids with, like putting gps trackers on kids’ cars nowadays. They weren’t even smart phones at that point, so all they could really do was call or text.

And then jobs started expecting you to be available in your off time. You know the meme about Americans being available out of the office by cell phone during surgery? That exists because there was a period where bosses everywhere expected to be able to call you at all hours of the day to check your email or answer questions and work unpaid. It’s gotten better now to some degree, but it’s still definitely a cultural thing. I’ve heard plenty of people complaining about getting a call from their boss asking them to come in on their day off.

There was a short period of time where phones were cool and people did stuff like make custom ringtones, but I’ve had enough spam calls wake me up at 4am, people calling and “ruining the mood” with a gf or whatever, and even getting called by a parent who threatened to call 911 on me because I didn’t respond to their text within 10 minutes that a ringing phone does nothing but piss me off now. I’ve heard that Gen Z/Alpha just permanently leave their phones on silent, and I completely get it. The act of privacy of simply being unreachable is lost in today’s world.

They remember at time when we weren’t all within reach of our own personal phone line 24/7. During that forgotten time, they were mostly children and expected to answer the landline and play the respectful secretary for the family. Sure, you MIGHT call someone’s house if you cared or dared to run the gauntlet of dealing with whomever answered the home phone and it wasn’t so private that you’d risk someone listening in from another room of your house or theirs. Party lines were even still a thing in some places. You could listen in to wireless handset phone with a baby monitor. Phone conversations carried a lot of emotion baggage.

The dotcom bubble burst just after we all got cell phones. As a result of this quirk of timing, most millennials grew up socializing a lot with people remotely via text based conversations over the Internet using things like Bulletin Board Services/Forums, IRC, ICQ, newsgroups, etc. These were free and far from the prying eyes of parents or easily hidden. But, that would have all been done at the home or school computer just like the landline (usually sharing the same literal line), not a thing you carried with you.

Millennials spent vast oceans of time being completely and utterly unreachable unless physically present and together, learning to converse face to face or in paragraphs of text from a box at home. Even emojis were text. Images were slow, small, and low quality, so the memes were rare and crafted with care.

When millennials got their first phone, it would have been likely for most that they’d most often be used by parents checking in. Cell phones were still mostly an in case of emergency type communication device, not your daily driver. That battery was limited and charging was slow. Even though text messages of the time carried a stiff financial cost, millennials stuck in class could converse by tapping out messages on the phones physical number pad buttons while pretending to pay attention.

TLDR: Millennials grew up during a communication technology revolution and as a result they’ve got some hang ups about always with you communication devices. Voice and video calls are an intrusion. For many, a ringing phone signals only parents, authority, or debt collectors.

I resent idea that phone calls coming through unexpectedly at any time. As if I should drop whatever I’m doing at any given moment to talk to this person.

I can reply to your message when I have the time for it and carry on.

I can delay the reply if it’s not urgent.

You can spend time actually writing what you want from me, so I can read it, and give you full answer. We both can then actually recall the conversation because it’s saved.

And for people saying you can deny the calls - you can, and then you deal with narcissistic assholes having beef with you for doing so.

Edit: And also about not picking up - with message, your urgency is stated. With calls it is not. If I don’t pick up, who knows how important was the thing you wanted. With message it’s clear as a day from the get go, unless you can’t write for shit.

Often times I call while doing chores ~ a great way to multitask :)

I mean, isn’t that what ringing is for—asking if they want to talk? It’s ok to decline a call.