A majority of human interaction is some form of manipulation. I think the question should be what degree the manipulation serves the manipulator versus the mark. For example, my wife compliments me for not looking like a total piece of shit. This both helps diminish tendencies in me she dislikes (helping her) and encourages me to not be a piece of shit, which given that my wife generally looks out for my best interests, helps me as well. From the opposite perspective, gaslighting is a form of manipulation that only benefits the manipulator… Hence why it’s frowned upon.