Uh what do I win
A shit covered head
Yaaaaaay
big alphabet HATES this one trick: i before e except after c
It’s the best rule, there are only 923 exceptions to it in the scrabble word list.
The original rule was “I before E, except after C, or when it rhymes with May, like neighbor or weigh.” My mom’s maiden name was an exception to this rule, so she always adds, “and my maiden name.”
BTW, in German, you pronounce the syllable based on the placement of the second letter in the “E-I” combination. If it’s “EI” it rhymes with I, and if it’s “IE,” it rhymes with E.
But people screw it up anyway. By German rules, Epstein should be pronounced Ep-Styne, not Ep-Steen.
It cuts down to something like 300 exceptions if in include the “unless it rhymes with neighbor or way” subclause. That subclause is also violated about 2 dozen times.
“ ‘I’ before ‘e’ except after ‘C’ and when sounding like “A” as in neighbor and weigh, and on weekends and holidays and all throughout May, and YOU’LL ALWAYS BE WRONG NO MATTER WHAT YOU SAY!!!”
-Brian Regan
But why do you follow arbitrary rules? Why are you part of the system, maaaan?
My dad’s not a phone!
I threw it on the ceiling
Happy shitday to the ceiling.
DUHH!
3 weeks ago I went camping while jacking off and I came across my family doctor’s grandma staring at a pile of leaves. As I got closer I noticed it wasn’t a pile of leaves at all but rather a man that I recognized from somewhere. I realized I had seen him while on a trip to the UK last year at an authentic British fish and chips place my wife and 6 uncles had lunch at. He was vinegar balls Edward, an old fisherman who comes to your table for you to squeeze malt vinegar out of his balls onto your fries for an authentic British experience.
So here he is on my camping jack just laying there dead, I did what any smart person would do and I pulled out my Swiss Army knife and hacked off his sack. 2 weeks later I went back to the UK and sold his scrotum and balls to that restaurant, they were about to go out of business without malt vinegar so they were extremely appreciative when I brought them the vinegar balls. The mayor of the town named a street after me and gave me six packs of smokes. I smoked them all that day despite being a non smoker because I needed to show that I was thankful for the gift.
In 3 months I’ll be going on another camping trip with my step grandpa, no jacking off allowed this time but maybe I’ll find a corpse that’ll haunt me forever. All it takes is 6 packs of smokes and a pocket full of belly buttons. That’s right, I’m totally a smoker now because smoking is the coolest fuckin thing anyone could ever do.
You know how I know that story’s fake? You said fries instead of chips. You’re nothing but a phoney!
Ah shit, aneurysmposting is leaking again
wat
It’s not quite at the William S. Burroughs level of batshittery just yet but you’re not far off.
William S Buttholes is my favourite author because the S stands for Shlong.
Pocket full of bellybuttons was a nice touch
I have a great story about a migrant…friends with my grampa (totally not my grampa as I have been told to declare), who was also a migrant in the fields of Ventura county CA a long time ago. Both are dead, do don’t try to look this up.
Anyway it goes like this. After a hard day at work they hit the restroom. There’s no paper and the toilet is clogged, so they poop on a news paper. There’s a river or some sort of OK disposal are behind the restroom. So grampa goes first, tosses the the poop out the window. He was a tall man and the window was open. The other guy was a shorty and so he tried to toss the poop out. However unfortunate, his aim was bad and instead the poop went straight up into the ceiling fan.
Whenever someone tells me that phrase about the shit hitting the fan I try to contain my desire to tell my family story.
Good day all! I hope your aim is good and your windows are within reach! God bless our migrants and god bless the USA!
“I” before “e”, except after “c”. Literally the easiest rule to remember because it’s alliterative. And, yes, I know it’s far from complete, but it would have worked here.
Not only is it “far from complete”, it’s just a super bad rule.
It’s a stupid phrase that only works here by chance
But it works and that’s what matters /s
I was at a strip club once for a bachelor party and went to the stall to do a bump. Confronted by a giant turd out of place. Go back to the boys and describe that to a friend of the bachelor. He leans in and whispers ’that was me’. Some people just wanna burn it all down
And here I thought this was going to be a classy story when I read you were doing blow in a skinbar bathroom.
Been there, done that
unrealistic expectations as always 🥀
